Friday, May 26, 2006

Happy Birthday to Grace! And Happy Anniversary to me!!

Sunday is my daughter’s second birthday. At 3:48 pm on Friday, May 28th 2004, Grace Mackenzie made her debut and has been the center of my life ever since. (Hmm...When I say “made her debut”, it doesn’t really capture the whole experience. There were nine months of morning sickness, four weeks of bed rest, and eight hours of labor {no epidural, thank you very much} involved in the whole process, so it wasn’t exactly effortless.) In the past two years Gracie has evolved from a fragile infant into a vibrant toddler, full of curiosity and wonder and awe. Every day she amazes me with what she’s learning and I am so fortunate to be able to experience life through her eyes.

Sunday is also my second anniversary. At 3:48 pm on Friday, May 28th 2004, I joined the sisterhood that has existed since the beginning of time—the sisterhood of mothers. What an awesome privilege. When I look at my mom and my grandma and all the other moms I know, I feel humbled to be among their ranks.

The moment that Grace was born, I looked at her and realized for the first time what love was. Over the past two years I have also evolved. When Grace was a newborn, I was a first-time mom and I was so frightened that I would do something horribly wrong with her that would scar her for life. I had no clue what I was doing. Now, I’m still learning everyday but I have more confidence and I am actually starting to feel like a “real” mom. I’m a full-fledged member of the sisterhood.

I also have learned how motherhood makes a woman vulnerable. I know the fear that a mother feels when her child screams. The frustration a mother feels when her child is crying and she can’t figure out why. The sheer joy a mother feels when her child smiles at her and gives her a hug. The helplessness a mother feels at 2:00 in the morning when her child wakes up with a high fever. The pride a mother feels when her child crawls for the first time, or walks for the first time, or says their name, or reaches a milestone in their life. Motherhood has exposed me to emotions and feelings that I never thought I had. It amazes me every day how I have this awesome capacity to love this little person, and that love just keeps growing.

I can’t believe how quickly the past two years have flown by. It makes me feel a bit melancholy when I think about it. At the same time, I am so excited to watch Grace grow. Every day with her is something to look forward to.

Happy Birthday, Punker Bear. And Happy Anniversary to me.


Angie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACIE! (30 minutes late...) Tell your mommy to get her butt to Milwaukee soon and to bring you so Auntie Angie can see you. Kisses!

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