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Friday, May 26, 2006

Happy Birthday to Grace! And Happy Anniversary to me!!

Sunday is my daughter’s second birthday. At 3:48 pm on Friday, May 28th 2004, Grace Mackenzie made her debut and has been the center of my life ever since. (Hmm...When I say “made her debut”, it doesn’t really capture the whole experience. There were nine months of morning sickness, four weeks of bed rest, and eight hours of labor {no epidural, thank you very much} involved in the whole process, so it wasn’t exactly effortless.) In the past two years Gracie has evolved from a fragile infant into a vibrant toddler, full of curiosity and wonder and awe. Every day she amazes me with what she’s learning and I am so fortunate to be able to experience life through her eyes.

Sunday is also my second anniversary. At 3:48 pm on Friday, May 28th 2004, I joined the sisterhood that has existed since the beginning of time—the sisterhood of mothers. What an awesome privilege. When I look at my mom and my grandma and all the other moms I know, I feel humbled to be among their ranks.

The moment that Grace was born, I looked at her and realized for the first time what love was. Over the past two years I have also evolved. When Grace was a newborn, I was a first-time mom and I was so frightened that I would do something horribly wrong with her that would scar her for life. I had no clue what I was doing. Now, I’m still learning everyday but I have more confidence and I am actually starting to feel like a “real” mom. I’m a full-fledged member of the sisterhood.

I also have learned how motherhood makes a woman vulnerable. I know the fear that a mother feels when her child screams. The frustration a mother feels when her child is crying and she can’t figure out why. The sheer joy a mother feels when her child smiles at her and gives her a hug. The helplessness a mother feels at 2:00 in the morning when her child wakes up with a high fever. The pride a mother feels when her child crawls for the first time, or walks for the first time, or says their name, or reaches a milestone in their life. Motherhood has exposed me to emotions and feelings that I never thought I had. It amazes me every day how I have this awesome capacity to love this little person, and that love just keeps growing.

I can’t believe how quickly the past two years have flown by. It makes me feel a bit melancholy when I think about it. At the same time, I am so excited to watch Grace grow. Every day with her is something to look forward to.

Happy Birthday, Punker Bear. And Happy Anniversary to me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACIE! (30 minutes late...) Tell your mommy to get her butt to Milwaukee soon and to bring you so Auntie Angie can see you. Kisses!

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