Started my new recruiting job yesterday, and at first blush, it seems like this is gonna be something I will like. Everyone that I have met so far has been super nice and welcoming, and my new boss (who I think is younger than me--ugh) is quite possibly the most laid back and mellow person I have met. (I'm reserving final judgment on that one for a bit, though...maybe I am reading her wrong. Time will tell.) The job itself seems challenging yet relatively low-stress and the environment is casual and open. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is a place where I can find my niche and hopefully stay for a long time...
The best part of the past two days was when a call came into the department today from a Spanish speaker. The girl who was training me remembered that I am bilingual and put me on the line with the man, and as soon as I started my conversation with him in Spanish, it was clear that others around me were impressed. Soon, I had an audience and when I hung up the phone, my boss came up to me and said, "I totally love you," while others around were saying things like, "Wow!" and, "That's awesome!" Oh yeah, I'm a rock star.
The only bad thing about the job is where the office is located, but we are moving to a different building in a week and that will hack at least fifteen minutes off my commute, which will be very nice. It's been a challenge the past couple of mornings getting Grace up and ready to go ten minutes earlier than she's used to. And, an hour commute home tonight (when it should have taken me a half hour) in the driving snow was no fun, either. But, I can live with it for another week.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
New Job
Posted by Sara at 7:34 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Our Lovely Weekend
Here are some photos from our mini-vacation that took place this past weekend!
The Wollersheim Winery, which was holding a Port Wine Celebration when we visited. We drank lots of wine.
Aaron and I, at the Wollersheim, after sampling several varieties of wine and deciding to purchase a case of the stuff:
Our suite at the bed and breakfast:
The bed and breakfast where we stayed, the Victorian Treasure, has three houses. This is the main house, which was built in the 1800's and was the home of a prominent Wisconsin politician. The house still contains the original woodwork and the fireplace in the main sitting room features the same tile that the lady of the house ordered from Italy over a hundred years ago. Simply lovely.
Sunday night, after returning to Milwaukee, we went to see one of my favorite bands, the Editors, in concert at the Pabst Theater. Since cameras weren't allowed, this is the only picture I managed to take with my phone:
The concert was awesome, and the Editors rocked my shizzy.
All in all, Aaron and I had a wonderful weekend. Of course, I missed Grace and was so happy to see her when we got home, but a little "couple time" is always very nice.
Posted by Sara at 8:10 AM 2 comments
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Reviewing "Juno"
Sorry...that title makes it seem like I actually know something about reviewing movies. I really don't, but here are my two cents regarding "Juno" anyway.
First off, the soundtrack was FANTASTIC. As soon as I have some extra cash, I'm gonna run out and buy it. I loved the music from the opening montage to the final credits. It definitely added something special to the movie.
I thought the movie itself was really, really well done. At first, I had a hard time with the dialogue, just because I can't think of a single teenager that I know that speaks as eloquently as Juno did in the movie (and I was a high school Spanish teacher for a couple of years, so I know how teenagers converse). But, as the movie went on and as I have thought about it over the past day or so, I realized that this was actually one of the things that made her character seem realistic. Juno is not your ordinary teenage girl; she's intelligent, thoughtful, and so cool, so I felt like the dialogue suited her.
I also thought the movie was HEARTBREAKING. Sure, it was funny and very witty. In fact, I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud so many times during a movie. However, there were a couple of parts in the movie where I actually had to bite the inside of my lower lip to keep myself from sobbing out loud. There is one part in which Jennifer Garner's character (Vanessa) runs into Juno at the mall and Juno invites her to touch her belly to feel the baby kick. Vanessa feels in vain for a few minutes and decides, disappointed, that the baby isn't going to respond to her, but then it happens...she feels the kick, and kneels down to talk to the baby in Juno's belly. As others in the theater snickered during this scene, I wept. No one but a mother knows the true desperation of wanting to feel your child respond to you, and no one but a mother knows the beauty of feeling that actually happen.
Ok, if you didn't see the movie and/or haven't heard what happens at the end, you might not want to read on. I think most people by now have heard how things end up, though.
The final part of the movie was probably the most heartbreaking for me. From the time Juno decided to give her baby up for adoption, it seemed as though she didn't have a single doubt in her mind. I just couldn't fathom this, but then again, I'm not a teenager who is in no way ready to raise a child and who wants to help someone who can't have a child of their own. In a way, what Juno did for Vanessa was beautiful and selfless. But, after having a child myself and knowing how the bond between mother and child forms so quickly and so permanently, I just couldn't imagine saying goodbye to my baby. My heart just tore in two as the final scenes of the movie played out, with Juno leaving the hospital without her baby and going on back to her old life, seemingly as if nothing had happened. As the other movie goers filed out of the theater, chatting about how funny the movie was, I sat in my seat, trying to pull myself together. Even thinking about the movie, two days later, I still find myself welling up.
Do I think Juno made the right decision? I'm not sure. Certainly, she did an admirable thing by giving her child to someone who really wanted one and was not able to have one on her own. But, if I let my imagination wander for a moment, I wonder if in fifteen years Juno would wish she hadn't given up her baby. It's hard to say.
Needless to say, I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone, even dudes, because my hubby liked it very much as well (although probably for different reasons than I did). It's complex, well-written, and thought-provoking. And, as I said, it has a kick-ass soundtrack.
Posted by Sara at 4:27 PM 3 comments
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Good Stuff
Even though it's so cold outside today that the snot inside my nose immediately freezes upon hitting the frigid air and I have taken to laying my jacket, stocking cap, and scarf in the sun for a while so they can warm up before I put them on, I have some warm feelings going on inside. Good stuff is afoot...
Good Thing the First: Had a job interview today. Actually, it was my second interview with this company (had a phone interview earlier this week), and I think it went really well. The company I interviewed with is an HR outsourcing company, and I interviewed for a recruiting position. Money seems good, people seem nice, and it would be a steady, reliable paycheck, which is extra good, since I am sitting here once again today without a single interpreting assignment.
Good Thing the Second: This weekend, the hubby and I are treating ourselves to a mini-romantic getaway at a bed and breakfast near Madison and damn, a whirlpool suite and breakfast in bed sounds like just what the doctor ordered. My family pitched in and bought Aaron and I a gift card for this bed and breakfast as a wedding gift, so this weekend we're gonna use it. And, while in the Madison area, we're planning to take a tour of the Wollersheim Winery and certainly pick up a few bottles of wine as souvenirs.
Good Thing the Third: One of Aaron's Christmas gifts to me was two tickets to see one of my favorite bands, the Editors, in concert here in Milwaukee. That concert is coming up on Sunday, so Aaron and I are rolling it into our weekend-long "just us" extravaganza. Wa-hoo! Or, as Aaron would say, "Yay, music!"
Good Thing the Fourth: Grace seems to be really finding her place here in Milwaukee. We went through a rough patch, after moving down here, when she really seemed to miss her grandpa and grandma and auntie in Oshkosh, not to mention our old apartment and her old school. However, lately, she just seems so happy, and very comfortable with our new lives here. In fact, the other night, she told Aaron and me that she likes living in "the Milwaukee" and wants to stay here. Music to my ears.
Good Thing the Fifth: Plans for our reception in April are finally coming together. Last night we decided on a final menu for the dinner, and we are just about decided on a DJ. The only things left to do now are write the checks and drop some weight so we can both fit back into the clothes we wore for our wedding!
Good Thing the Sixth: Huh...as I was sitting here typing this, the company I interviewed with this morning called and offered me the recruiting job. Offer letter is being emailed to me as I type this. Looks like Aaron and I have some talking to do this weekend, too!
Hooray for things looking up!
Posted by Sara at 1:33 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Bumpwatch
This comes as a shock to me...I have recently been the subject of a bumpwatch...Britney, watch out.
This morning when I dropped Grace off at day care, one of the teachers pulled me aside gently and whispered to me while smiling broadly, "Are you pregnant?"
At this point, I pulled a Dr. John Dorian (Zach Braff in Scrubs), tilting my head, looking off into the distance, and participating in an internal monologue that went something like this:
Huh? Pregnant? What the hell? I know I gained a few pounds over the holidays, but geez, I didn't think I looked THAT big! Ugh, Aaron is wrong--I am a fat ass!!! Fat ass, fat ass, FAT ASS!!! I knew these pants looked too small on me, but I thought the jacket would have masked the belly. I can't believe she thinks I am pregnant!!! I thought I was looking a little thinner! I have been eating way less than before! Ugh! I am destined to a life of being overweight!
It's one thing to be asked if you're pregnant when you ACTUALLY ARE, but when you're not, it can be a bit of a blow. When I finally recovered, I smiled as sweetly as I could and said, "Nope, not pregnant." I hoped my smile and polite demeanor didn't reveal the anguish and horror I was feeling inside. I then intended to slink away as quietly as possible and therefore drop the subject forever. And then maybe go and cry in my car.
As I was leaving, the teacher stopped me and said, "The only reason I ask is because Grace keeps saying, 'My mama has a baby in her tummy.' The other teachers and I have been trying to look at you to see if you look pregnant, but I figured I would just ask you."
Ooooooohhhhhhhh. Sweet relief. But then again, huh?
I racked my brain to try and figure out where Grace could have possibly come up with the notion that I had a baby growing in my belly. It's not exactly a supper table conversation topic for us. The only time I think I have ever mentioned anything to Grace about having a baby in my tummy was when I explained to her where she came from (the basics, anyway).
Then it hit me...ELMO. On one of Grace's Elmo videos, titled "Elmo Visits the Doctor", there is a short blurb featuring a young kid who accompanies his pregnant mom to the doctor for one of her prenatal checks. Even though it has seriously been weeks since Grace has watched this video, I'm pretty sure that this is where she got the idea from. Grace has a knack for, without any sort of provocation, pulling an idea or a memory out of her head about something that could have happened weeks or months ago. She still remembers even the tiniest details about our trip to Disney, and that was back in October. The kid has a great memory.
I intend to ask Grace about this tonight to try and find out if my Elmo theory is correct or not. In the meantime, I'm gonna chuckle at the thought of Grace's day care teachers eying my belly and wondering, "Is she? Isn't she?"
Posted by Sara at 2:45 PM 2 comments
Friday, January 18, 2008
Back to the Drawing Board
And the job woes continue...
BIG sigh...
Most of y'all know that I started at my medical interpreting job back in November after bouncing between jobs a bit over the past year and a half or so. I was totally stoked about this job...the pay was considerably higher than what I had been receiving at previous jobs, even though I only get paid for the hours I actually spend interpreting. I would be using my Spanish skills while helping those that really need it. I would be able to choose my hours, so I could work as much or as little as I liked (and I was assured that doing this full time was not only possible, but encouraged). I could take random days off (unpaid, of course) if Grace was sick or to go on vacation. It sounded like this was going to be a perfect job--pays well, flexible, rewarding and all that happy stuff. I could hardly believe it.
I should have learned a very important lesson by this point in my life. If something looks and sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Things started out well with this interpreting gig. I was indeed working full time (or darn close to it) and was earning more than I ever have in the past. I was given a large list of appointments each day that I could select from, and I picked the appointments that fit best into my day while generally packing as many into the 8am-5pm slot as I possibly could. And, naturally, I was really, truly enjoying my work. Helping people who need it and who are, for the most part, extremely grateful for the help is extremely gratifying to me. Things continued like this for a good month or so.
Then, out of the clear blue sky (and right before Christmas), I got a call from our payroll person at the office, asking me what my agreed-upon pay rate was. I gave her the info (while feeling a little concerned that she didn't have this written down somewhere) and she told me that the pay rate I was quoted by the manager was wrong. In fact, I was getting paid FIVE DOLLARS AN HOUR more than I was supposed to be, so they were going to have to knock my pay rate down to where it should have been all along.
Huh? Can you just DO that? I never signed an official contract or anything, so I suppose anything goes, right? Despite this snafu, I was still quite optimistic about the job. Theoretically, my earnings would still be higher than they have been in the past, as long as the workload kept up.
But the workload hasn't kept up. Since New Year's, things have slowed down drastically. In fact, there have been four days in the past two weeks in which I did not have one single appointment. For the life of me, I can't figure out why things have gotten so slow so suddenly. It's not like there has been a miracle drug introduced into the market that eliminates all illnesses in Spanish-speaking people. Health care isn't like other fields...there isn't a "slow period". People are always sick. So, what the hell?
It's gotten to the point now where my finances are stretched to the max. I need to keep Grace in day care full time because, lately, I don't know if I will have appointments or not on any given day. The office sometimes calls me the night before with the next day's appointments, and sometimes they call me the same day. The problem is, other than not allowing me to plan my days, if I don't end up working at all for a whole day, I just paid for a whole day of day care without making a cent. And day care ain't cheap...we pay $700 a month, and our center is on the lower end of the cost scale. And then there's gas, groceries, and other essentials to buy. And there's all of the other unexpected stuff that pops up when there is a young child in your life.
So, here I am again, weighing my job options. Interpreting jobs here in Milwaukee are actually less abundant than one would think, unless one wants to work second or third shift or on the weekends. I could probably be a stay-at-home mom, but then again I don't want to put all of the earning pressure on Aaron, especially since we just paid for a wedding in Florida and are planning a reception in April. And, Grace LOVES being in day care. I don't want to take that from her. I could go back into recruiting, but that seems like it would be a step backwards. All that I do know for sure is that things can't continue as they are. The financial strain is too great.
Of course, there are a couple of careers that I would really LOVE to pursue, but I would have to go back to school to be able to do any of them. That's not really an option right now, since Aaron and I want to have another baby in the near future and for us, that takes a higher priority than me continuing my education. And, yes, I know that plenty of women go to college while pregnant or with little ones, but I guess I don't want to have all of that stuff happening at once if I don't have to.
I might just have to settle, for the time being, with doing something I don't necessarily love but that is at least bringing money into the household. I probably shouldn't put that as a career objective on my resume.
Posted by Sara at 2:33 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Inside the Mind of a Three-Year-Old
This morning, as Grace and I were leaving the house to go to daycare, we took a moment to admire the beautiful pink and blue sunrise. Little did I know this was going to lead to a deep theological discussion:
Grace: Who makes the sunrise?
Me (wondering how I could explain the manner in which the rising sun reflects on the clouds): Ummm...
Grace: God makes the sky, Mama. He lives there.
Me: Oh, ok.
Grace: Mama, does God have wings? Like an angel?
Me: Uh, I'm not sure. I don't think anyone knows what God looks like.
Grace: He has wings. Otherwise he couldn't stay up in the sky.
Clearly, I have much to learn.
Then, this afternoon when I picked up Grace, I noticed that she was wearing a different pair of pants than the ones she was wearing when I dropped her off, so I suspected that she had had an accident during the day. Her teacher confirmed my suspicions, but this was no ordinary, couldn't-get-the-pants-down-fast-enough accident. Grace had pulled her pants down, lifted her shirt, and peed right in the middle of the floor. (Unfortunately, one of her classmate's jackets was within range and suffered because of it.) She has never done anything like this in the past, and has so few accidents in general that I was a little concerned and asked her about it this evening:
Me: Grace, how come you went potty on the floor at school?
Grace: Because.
Me: Because why?
Grace: Because you let me go potty at swimming lessons.
Argh. Last night in the middle of swimming class, Grace got an unmistakable "gotta pee RIGHT NOW" look on her face and that face was immediately replaced with one that said "oops, I just peed". I decided not to get too upset about it because
1.) the water temperature in the kids' pool is like 88 degrees, and that's enough to make even those with a bladder of steel have to pee
and
2.) there is so much freaking chlorine in the pool that my skin still reeks of it two days (and a couple of showers) after getting out of the pool, so I figured a little bit of Gracie pee added to the mix wasn't a huge deal.
So, it would appear that by not freaking out about this little accident at swim class, I (mistakenly) gave Grace the impression that it's ok to just drop trou and go wherever. Again, clearly I have much to learn.
So, for those of you keeping track, the score for today is...
Grace: 2
Mama: 0
P.S. To Future Grace...if you read this, I apologize for relating an undoubtedly embarrassing story about you and potty. Sometimes I just can't help myself.
Update: Just to further illustrate how much freaking chlorine there is in the kiddy pool at our YMCA, I will relate this tale. I washed my swimsuit today, and as I was folding it, something looked odd to me. Turns out that the two purple stripes that run down the sides of the suit are no longer purple...they are kind of a taupe-ish color, with tiny little streaks of purple still clinging on up near the waist band. The chlorine in the pool stripped the purple out of my swimsuit!! Grace's pink "Hello Kitty" suit is looking a little less pink, as well. No wonder Grace and I both have horrible, itchy dry skin after swim class.
That is all.
Posted by Sara at 7:36 PM 0 comments
Monday, January 14, 2008
Glasses!
She's darn cute, you gotta admit. (The picture doesn't do her justice...taken with my cell phone, so not the greatest quality.) And, other than saying, "The floor looks funny," so far Grace has no complaints about the glasses. Yippee!!
Posted by Sara at 5:12 PM 3 comments
Thursday, January 10, 2008
School Tours
It's open enrollment time for elementary schools here in Milwaukee! After making the decision that yes, we are going to enroll Grace in a K4 program rather than keep her in day care another year, we thought the prudent thing would be to go and check out some of the elementary schools in the area. We can chose up to three schools that we would like Grace to attend, and luckily, there are three schools that are within a mile or so of our house and I toured all three in the last couple of days. Here are my findings:
Tippecanoe School for the Arts and Humanities-
We toured this school last night as part of a district-wide open house that was taking place, and we were warmly greeted as we entered the school. Turns out that the woman who greeted us was the school's K4 teacher, and so our tour began with a look at the K4 classroom. I was immediately struck by how large it was and how the room was appealing to the senses without being overwhelming. There were separate "work" and "play" areas and the room had a sliding wall that opened into the K5 classroom, and Grace was immediately taken with the variety of toys and other fun stuff that was at her disposal. The teacher walked me through a typical day in the K4 room, which includes at least one "special" (art, music, phy ed) per day along with a mandated sixty minutes per day of Math instruction and ninety minutes per day of Language Arts/Reading instruction. At first I thought that seemed a bit excessive...I mean, they are four-year-olds, for Pete's sake, but then the teacher explained to me that a lot of this instruction is done through creative play, so the kids don't even really realize they are being taught. I asked if any Foreign Language instruction was integrated into the curriculum, and unfortunately it is not, although small snippets are taught. Also, kids in this K4 room don't get a nap time, which may or may not be an issue for Grace come September.
We toured the rest of the school and found out that this particular school goes up to eighth grade. Aaron and I were both very pleased with the look and feel of the school and we both liked the sound of the way that things are run. Obviously, the school focuses on an arts and humanities curriculum, so they are taught not only what people do and what they think, but also how they express themselves. Students are encouraged to begin playing a musical instrument in first grade. They participate in programs with the Milwaukee Art Museum. They can take piano lessons right at the school. They take field trips, once a week, to the Milwaukee Public Library. The biggest thing, curriculum-wise, that I liked is that they integrate their school-wide themes (they have three per year) into each curriculum so students can learn how things fit together, rather than having fragmented themes that don't mesh.
This is a smaller school, with an enrollment of approximately 250 kids from K4 to eighth grade. Class sizes are small--the K4 class has twenty kids this year and they expect the same next year. This is also classified as a Citywide Specialty School, which means that they accept kids from all over Milwaukee, but give enrollment preference to kids that live within a mile of the school (which would be us--we are less than a block from Tippecanoe).
At the end of our tour, we met the principal, who was very eager to answer any and all of our questions. She seemed warm and personable yet professional and knowledgeable. She reinforced a lot of the information that our tour guide provided us, and invited us to come back during a normal school day to see students and teachers. She directed us into the office to pick up an enrollment packet and after having some more questions answered by the friendly office staff, we left with a great impression of the school and of the staff members that we met.
Whittier Elementary School-
This description is going to be much shorter, for reasons that will quickly become obvious. We also toured this school last night as part of the district-wide open house and in all fairness I will say that I was so taken with Tippecanoe that already I had a bias against Whittier. So, I didn't go into the tour with the most open of minds.
That said, there really wasn't a tour at all. No one greeted us as we walked into a school. Really, the only thing directing us at all was a sign on a table asking us to sign the Visitor's Log, and from that point on, we were on our own. We managed to find the K4 room by listening to some of the other parents that were touring (none of the rooms were marked well) and I was relieved to see that the K4 teacher was actually in the room when we got there. She addressed a group of about six of us parents, telling us about a typical day in the K4 room but she went through it so quickly that I found myself having more questions at the end than I started with. I did manage to find out that the kids' days are split in half, with the morning focused on academics and the afternoon focusing on play time. A nap is included in each day, right after lunch time. Beyond that, the information was lacking. And, when I asked about Foreign Language, the teacher gave me a smirk and reminded me that there are bilingual schools within MPS that Grace could attend. I half apologized to her for the question, telling her that I am bilingual and that exposing my child to foreign languages is important to me, to which she replied, "You should teach her at home, then." AAAAAAALLLLL righty then.
After visiting the K4 room, we wandered around the rest of the school and made our way to the office, where I asked the secretary if they had any literature about the school that I could take home. She said no but that she could give me a student handbook instead. Not quite what I was looking for, but better than nothing I suppose. We left the school then, because there was nothing else for us to discover. There were no teachers roaming the halls to answer our questions, and certainly no administrator could be found, either.
We were not impressed at all with Whittier. I would think that if you knew you were going to have people coming through your workplace you would make an effort to put your best out there. That certainly was not the case with this school. It was enough to make me strongly consider keeping Grace in day care another year if we don't get our first (or second) school choice.
A.E. Burdick Elementary School-
Burdick was the last of the three schools that I toured, and I decided to tour it partly just because Burdick is our Neighborhood School, meaning that if we want Grace to go there, she goes there pretty much automatically. I toured the school today, so there was no open house going on and I had the advantage of observing a typical school day. I was pretty sure at this point that nothing would sway me from making Tippecanoe our first choice, but Burdick proved me wrong.
My tour was guided by the Tech Ed teacher, who has been at Burdick since 1989. He was very proud of the fact that most of the staff at Burdick has been there for five years or more, and this low turnover rate certainly sounded good to me. He began our tour by handing me a pile of literature about the school and made sure I had an enrollment form and knew how to fill it out. He then gave me a rundown of the school's history and explained how the school is structured. Like Tippecanoe, this is a K-8 school, so Grace could attend all the way through Middle School if we wanted.
Like Tippecanoe, Burdick has a very warm, inviting atmosphere. Each teacher I encountered greeted me warmly and introduced me to their class. (The lovely music teacher even exclaimed, "Look at the pretty, young Mommy!" Nice touch.) All of the classrooms are large and class sizes were reasonable (around twenty-five kids each). Enrollment is around 500 students. The curriculum overall is much more meat-and-potatoes than Tippecanoe...the focus is on the core subjects, but there is also a large emphasis on technology and music. I was surprised to see a row of computers in both of the K4 rooms, and by eighth grade, each student has his or her own computer. The school also places a high value on parental involvement, and I met several parent volunteers throughout the tour.
The one thing Burdick has that Tippecanoe doesn't is controlled access. No one can come into the building without being let in by the office and there are security cameras at each entrance into the school. The office staff monitors outside activity that is picked up on the cameras on TV's in the office. It's not a sketchy neighborhood by any stretch, but there is a certain peace of mind knowing that not just anyone is allowed into the school.
There are two K4 classrooms at Burdick, both structured the same way. K4 students get a 45-minute nap every afternoon at Burdick. Like Whittier's, Burdick's K4 classes focus on academics in the morning and then creative play in the afternoon, but there aren't any exceedingly high expectations in place. The K4 teacher I met with stressed to me that kids in her room are allowed to learn at their own pace and receive plenty of one-on-one instruction if need be. She explained that each child has his or her own learning style, and that she attempts to each to each of those different styles. She also told me that she focuses a lot on the social skills kids need to develop as they move into Kindergarten. Finally, she stressed that these kids are pretty little yet, so they receive all of the attention and nurturing that they need, while learning in a fun and creative way.
At the end of my tour, I met the principal, who at first glance was a little too coiffed and stiff for my liking, but was very nice nonetheless. He invited me to come back and bring Aaron and Grace anytime and told me to call him with any questions. He asked me lots of questions about Grace and told me he was looking forward to seeing her in the fall. Then the secretary made sure I knew how to fill out the enrollment form, gave me a handy checklist with the things I need to bring in to enroll Grace, and bid me adieu.
So, I'm torn between Tippecanoe and Burdick. They are both so different that it is hard to say that one is better than the other. If I had to choose right now, I could pick Tippecanoe over Burdick just because I really liked their arts and humanities emphasis, but honestly, I think I would be happy with Grace attending either school. I think I'll leave Whittier off my list altogether.
Posted by Sara at 2:43 PM 2 comments
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Far Sighted
Today, after a couple of months of noticing how Gracie seems to cross her eyes when looking at anything up close, like when she is eating or coloring, I took her in to see an ophthalmologist who immediately confirmed my suspicions...Grace is having trouble seeing things up close, and will need glasses to correct the problem and help her be able to read and see up close, and to ensure that she doesn't hurt her vision further by continuing to cross her eyes.
*sigh*
I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much. Every time I think of my three-year-old wearing glasses, tears come rushing to my eyes. Grace, for her part, found a very cute pair of pink glasses that she cannot WAIT to be able to wear once her lenses are delivered. She is calling them her "special glasses" and when she told her teacher at day care today that she was going to be getting glasses, she positively beamed with excitement. (It helped that her teacher energetically and very positively yelled, "Glasses?!? I have glasses!! This is so exciting!" I could have kissed her.)
Still, I can't help but sit here and cry, stupidly, thinking about it. Why am I so upset about this? I was thinking about it today as I watched a baby that was on a ventilator being wheeled into an elevator at the hospital where I work, and I thought to myself, "Get a freaking grip, Sara. It's glasses. Things could be so much worse."
I've been chatting online with Aaron about this and asked him that same question:
Sara says:
why am i so upset about this?
Aaron says:
because you feel like it is your fault
Aaron says:
that you let your child down somehow
Aaron says:
and you can't make it better for her
Ah yes...as usual, the man has more insight into my psyche than I do. It's great to be married to someone who understands.
I think part of it, too, is the fact that I was teased incessantly by peers when I got my classes in second grade. I don't want Grace to have to endure being called "four eyes" or a "dork", although there are much worse things to be called. And, at least she didn't inherit my red hair, so she won't have to be called "carrot top" for her entire childhood.
But, this isn't about me and I am angry at myself that I am upset. Grace is acting wonderfully about this...maybe it's time for me to model some of her behavior.
Posted by Sara at 3:18 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
My Little Fish
Well, tonight was Grace's first night of swimming lessons, and she loves them so much that she wants to marry them. I enrolled her in a parent/child class since this is her first time, and I can already tell that she's only gonna need one session of classes with me before she is more than ready to try them on her own. She happily joined in as class started and the teacher began to sing, "Look Who's Come to Swim Class" (which is a name game in which each kid gets to scream out their name when the teacher points to them).
The first "real" thing the teacher wanted each child to do was to close their eyes and their mouth and bob under the water. Fearlessly, Grace glanced at me, closed her eyes and her mouth, and quickly disappeared under the water while I frantically reached for her to pull her up. As I was reaching for her, she resurfaced, spit out some water she had swallowed, and laughed her head off. She did this a few more times, and soon she was following the teacher around the pool, hanging on to her swimming noodle and kicking her legs out behind her. She learned to (kind of) use her arms to propel herself forward and at the end of class, she showed her bravery again by jumping off the side of the pool and into my arms, giggling the whole way.
All in all, I think swimming lessons are going to go, well, swimmingly. The only problems we had occurred when it was time to get out of the pool (some rather ruffled-looking elderly ladies were waiting for their water aerobics class) and Grace decided she didn't want to leave just yet. I coaxed her out by promising her that we would be coming back next week, to which Grace replied, "Ok, Mama, but I don't want to listen to the teacher. I wanna do my own thing." She's a rebel already.
Posted by Sara at 7:49 PM 0 comments
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Cheesy
A conversation, ten minutes ago on my couch:
Me (to Grace): Hey, can I have one of your Cheetos, please?
Grace: A big one or a little one?
Me: A big one please!
Grace: Ok, Mama, but be careful...they're really cheesy.
Me (to myself): Yep, that's the whole point kiddo.
Posted by Sara at 7:32 PM 1 comments
Friday, January 04, 2008
Getting Organized
Ok, I have a confession to make. I am a bit of a neat freak. I am a firm believer in the notion that everything should have its own little home, and as soon as things are finished serving their purpose, they ought to be returned to their home. I think I have always been this way, but the first time I remember realizing that I place a high value on neatness and orderliness was when I went off to college and had to live with a complete stranger who was also a complete slob. Let's just say that the arrangement didn't go well for either of us.
(A side note: Oddly, this impulse to keep things neat and orderly does not extend to my car. My car is a perpetual mess--Aaron loves to marvel at how I am so anal about the house yet have a really messy car. My dad affectionately refers to it as "The Camper" because it has enough stuff piled in it that he thinks we could probably live in there. At times, it seems that I ought to petition the government for some disaster relief to clean it up.)
Naturally, having a child has forced me to relax my standards of neatness a bit. I read a quote once that said something like, "Cleaning up after a child is like trying to dust in a windstorm." How true. I've given up trying to clean up while Grace is awake or at home. I usually just attempt to do laundry or dishes when the little one is around. I must say, though, that Gracie has gotten pretty darn good at picking up after herself when I ask her to. A lovely development, that.
Living with Aaron has forced me to relax my standards a bit as well. He has lived on his own for years and is used to living the way he wants to, and if that means leaving folded laundry on the living room floor for a week, then so be it. (If I, on the other hand, don't put laundry away on the day it's done, I go berserk.) Ah marriage...it's great fun reconciling those huge differences.
Anyway, this week I have decided to tackle the daunting task of finding new homes all of our new Christmas gifts. Grace got an abundance of new (and large) toys this year and Aaron and I made pretty decent hauls ourselves. Figuring out how to cram this extra stuff into a house that is already bursting at the seams has not been easy. We have a great house but it is seriously deficient in storage space. We have four closets in the whole house (five if I count the pantry) and those closets are all pretty small. Aaron and Grace have to share a closet upstairs while I have another (mostly) to myself, and the other two closets are full enough that I wouldn't want to try to pack anything else into them. Simply put, we have far too much stuff and not enough room for it all. And, to top it off, our spacious basement is still full of boxes that I have yet to unpack from my move to Milwaukee in August. I think I haven't bothered to unpack them because I have no clue what to do with all of the stuff and frankly, if I haven't needed this stuff since August, I'm wondering if I need it at all. Knowing that there is so much disorganization in the house has been stressing me out.
After removing all of our gifts from their packaging (which was a task in itself), I set out in search for places to put the new stuff. Three days later, I am finally finished. It came down to me versus a stack of three sweaters that I got as gifts...I had absolutely no more room in my closet for even one more sweater, so I rolled up my sleeves, dumped out my dresser drawers, and forced myself to purge clothes until it hurt. At the end, I had several paper grocery bags full of stuff ready to take to the thrift store and plenty of space for my new sweaters.
This left me feeling inspired and so I'm adding another resolution to my New Year's list. I will get this house organized and under control and, since I hear a resolution won't work out unless there is a goal date attached to it, I will accomplish this by my birthday, which is March 1. (Ok, I didn't arbitrarily pick my b-day...we are planning a party for that day and I know I can force myself to do this if I know we're gonna be having guests.) I find myself feeling incredibly excited--yes, excited--at the idea of rifling through Grace's and Aaron's clothes and through Grace's toys and being able to give away enough stuff to actually have room what's left over. My local Value Village will soon have an influx of new inventory straight from our house.
Maybe next I will tackle our shoe storage program...we have a back entry way with beautiful wainscoting that Aaron painstakingly cut and hung by himself last year, and it's littered with our shoes. It's a sad state of affairs.
Posted by Sara at 7:14 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
To Sleep or Not To Sleep??
Note: If you are not even remotely interested in hearing about a preschooler's sleep habits, you probably don't want to read this entry. On the other hand, if you are interested or perhaps have experience in this area, read on and send along any thoughts you might have.
Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know by now that I am a believer in co-sleeping. Grace and I co-slept for quite a while when I was single, and even when she moved into her own bed, her bed stayed in my bedroom. I sincerely enjoyed co-sleeping, especially since I have worked full time since Grace was six weeks old--spending that extra time with her at night really helped me (and hopefully, Grace) feel like we were able to reconnect after spending almost all day apart. I found it valuable to be able to be "right there" for Grace if she woke up in the middle of the night if she needed something and hopefully that helped her feel more secure. And, since it was just the two of us, co-sleeping just made sense.
When Grace and I moved to Milwaukee and in with Aar, I decided to try and make the transition from having Grace sleeping in her own bed in my room to having her sleep in her own bed in her own room. Grace's bedroom is right across the hall from our room so I felt that I would still be able to respond quickly to Grace at night if she needed me, and I hoped that being so close to Aaron and me would still help Grace feel secure. Surprisingly (to me, at least), this arrangement seemed to work out...for a short time. About a month or so after we moved to Milwaukee, I went back to work, and soon after that we started to have problems with our new sleeping arrangement.
First I started having loads of trouble getting Grace to sleep at night. I would lay her down in bed and stay with her for a few minutes, and then she would scream when I tried to leave her room. I have never been a big fan of the whole "crying it out" school of thought, so I would generally stay with her until she was fast asleep. Sometimes I would spend up to an hour or more with her, which started to stress me out, because I wasn't getting my much-needed "me time" at night.
Then, Grace began waking up several times each night. She would come into our room and cry for me to come and sleep with her. More often than not I gave in out of sheer exhaustion so I ended up spending more time in bed with my daughter than I did with Aaron. This wasn't a good situation, either, because I felt like torn between spending my sleeping hours with Grace and spending them with Aaron. I was a walking zombie during the day because I never got more than an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep at night. And, clearly Grace wasn't feeling secure if she needed to have me with her at night.
Finally, Grace began to climb into bed with Aaron and me every night. We have a queen-sized bed, and the three of us crammed into this bed was a less-than-ideal arrangement. None of us slept very well and because of that, bedtime was becoming something that I dreaded every night. I went so far as to try to put Grace to sleep in our bed and then move her into her bed after she fell asleep, but inevitably, she would wind up with us within an hour or two.
My sense was that this downward spiral was caused my all of the changes that were taking place in Grace's life. I knew that Grace had to deal with a big transition in a short period of time--we moved to a new city and to a new house, she left a daycare she liked and started at a new center with a whole new set of kids, and she had to adapt to living with someone other than just her mommy. It was a big transition for all of us!
I talked to my mom at length about this and did tons of research, and finally Aaron and I decided to allow Grace to sleep in our bedroom, but on a separate mattress. She resisted for a couple of nights and tried to climb into bed with us during the night, but I was firm in telling her that she needed to stay in her own bed while reassuring her that I was right next to her if she needed me. After a week or so, the night time protests stopped and Grace (and Aaron and I) started sleeping through the night without fail. This was about two months or so ago, and things are still going well. Grace is in her own bed in our bedroom, and she very rarely wakes up at night. She goes to bed at night with little fanfare and doesn't ask to come into our bed anymore. Everyone is sleeping, and Grace is going to bed early enough that Aaron and I get to have some time to ourselves before hitting the hay.
So, what's the problem?
The problem is, Aaron and I are getting outside pressure to change this situation. We never intended for this arrangement to be permanent...we know that eventually Grace will need to sleep in her own room. However, I don't see the value in rushing things. Others, who will remain nameless, have taken every opportunity they can to remind us that what we are doing is wrong and that we need to change things immediately or we will cause permanent damage to Grace. They site examples of people they know whose school-age kids are still sleeping with their parents or at least in their parents' room and who are clearly maladjusted in some way because of it. They remind us that it will be difficult to conceive another child with Grace sleeping in our bedroom.
Hmmm...could it be that these other kids are having issues for reasons other than their sleeping arrangements? And, there are plenty of other rooms in the house other than the bedroom that can serve nicely as a love chamber. Trust me.
As I said, I don't see the value in rushing things. Aaron, bless his heart, has been nothing but supportive in my efforts to help us all get the sleep we need, but I can tell he is starting to feel the pressure others are applying. My biggest fear is that we will try to put Grace back in her room before she is ready, and we will end up making things worse again. When I try to talk to Grace privately about sleeping in her room, she says she will but that Mommy will sleep there too. When I correct her, she says she doesn't want to sleep in her room. This tells me that putting her in her own room is gonna lead us right back to the sleepless nights and the frustration. She is only three years old and I feel like if she needs Aaron and I around right now to help her feel secure, then we can indulge her for the time being. And, frankly, I don't see how any damage is being done here. Grace is a well-adjusted kid who is getting adequate rest and is thriving. I don't understand how allowing this, for the time being, is a bad thing. I know the time will come when she will have to be in her own room...I just don't see why it has to be RIGHT NOW.
Maybe I am wrong. Maybe Grace would surprise me and would not have a problem moving into her room now. Maybe I am spoiling her. Maybe I am making things harder for myself by putting this off and by not forcing things. As my father-in-law likes to tell me, parenting is hard--kids don't come with instruction manuals. I am just doing what feels right and what is working for our family right now. What works for our family might not work for another and vice versa. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by Sara at 1:49 PM 5 comments
Monday, December 31, 2007
New Year's Resolutions
Well, it's New Year's Eve, and it's time to come up with some resolutions for the upcoming year. And, I might as well make them public in hopes that someone will help me stick to at least some of them this year!
Resolution the First: Lose weight. This is my perpetual resolution...sometimes I succeed in keeping it, sometimes I don't. Instead of assigning myself a specific goal weight and stressing myself out, I am going to resolve to live healthier, eat wiser, exercise more frequently, and I am going to make it a family affair. I want to teach my daughter healthy eating habits and I want her to learn the value of living an active lifestyle. I want her to learn what it is to have a healthy, positive, and realistic self-image. And, I want my daughter and my husband to live a long, long time!
Resolution the Second: Baby #2. Aaron and I have been talking about growing our family since we got engaged, and we have decided that we hope to make that dream come true this year. Here's to practicing!!
Resolution the Third: Continue to improve as a mother. Yeah, I think that I am a good mom. I do the very best I can every day, doing what I think is best for Grace and ensuring that she knows how much she is loved and cherished. But, there is always room for improvement. I need to focus more on my relationship with my daughter and less on how clean (or messy) my house is. I need to stop and enjoy each moment with her, because she is getting bigger every day and I know I only have one shot to experience her childhood with her. And, I need to remind her constantly that she is so special and that her mom will always be there for her.
Resolution the Fourth: Tell Aaron that I love him every day. Yes, Aaron and I always say, "I love you," to each other when we leave the house in the morning or when we are ending a phone call with each other. But, I worry that sometimes those words lose meaning after a while. So, in addition to using those three words, I need to expand on my feelings. Aaron, in a couple of words, is the best. He needs to know that. I am so proud of him and how he has adapted to life as a stepdad. He's a supportive, loving, understanding husband. He's not perfect, but he is absolutely wonderful and I love him dearly. I need to make sure he knows that.
Resolution the Fifth: Decide what I want to do when I grow up. I love my interpreting job, but I don't see myself doing it forever. I need to find a stable, rewarding, long-term career that allows me to devote a large amount of time to my family, and unfortunately, I don't know what that career will be. I have a couple of ideas, and I need to sit down with someone at the UW here in Milwaukee to find out how my Bachelor's degree in Spanish can serve as a base for a future career for me.
Resolution the Sixth: Go to Bonnaroo!! Aaron and I went to the 'Roo two years ago and had a BLASTY, but we missed Bonnaroo last year because I was unable to take the time off of work to go. This year, screw it...we're going. We love live music and camping with the sweaty hippies too much to miss out on this festival two years in a row. And here's to hoping that the Decemberists and Franz Ferdinand come back to the 'Roo this year! Is it too much to ask to have Ben Folds back as well? Pretty please?? I'll be anxiously waiting to see the lineup!
Resolution the Seventh: Turn 30 gracefully. I talked in an earlier blog entry about my approaching 30th birthday so I won't drone on about it here. Needless to say, it feels a little weird knowing that I am moving into a new decade of my life but I am not going to obsess about it. Rather, I'm going to be excited that I am happy and healthy and I am going to celebrate the experience that my past 29 years have afforded me. Then, I am going to apply moisturizer liberally to battle those little wrinkles that are creeping up around my eyes.
Resolution the Eighth: Get involved with the upcoming elections. It's so easy to feel disgruntled about politics in general, but deep down I still believe regular ol' people can make a difference. That belief comes from my parents, who showed me that taking the time to participate in our democracy is important...as a child, I accompanied them to the voting booth, handed out literature with them, and listened to them have healthy debates regarding important issues among themselves and with others. They taught me that if I don't like things the way they are, I should work to change them. So I am educating myself on the candidates and my choices and when I (finally) make my decision on who I am going to support, I am going to get involved.
I hope that everyone has a wonderful, healthy, and happy New Year. Here's to another great year!
Posted by Sara at 10:40 AM 2 comments
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas Hangover
Christmas was wonderful but exhausting. For us, the holiday was actually a four-day-long whirlwind party that had us running all over the state to spend time with our cherished loved ones. We came home today with a car full of gifts (most of them for Grace) and with our bellies full of tasty holiday food.
Grace had a blast with Christmas this year. She got into the spirit of things as soon as she realized that Santa had come and that she was going to receive tons of gifts, but she also really enjoyed spending some quality time with her extended families. And, even though she skipped her nap a couple of days due to our hectic schedule, she behaved like a little angel.
And, Aaron and I enjoyed our first Christmas as a married couple. We took some time out to exchange gifts, just the two of us, which was nice since we didn't have a three-year-old begging to open our gifts for us. My hubby clearly picks up on hints, since he got me a much-needed pair of winter boots (cute ones) as well as tickets to an Editors concert coming up here in Milwaukee. And although we struggled a bit with splitting up our time evenly between each of our families, I think we realized that the most important thing was that our own little family spent all of this time together, no matter where we were.
We all will be hitting the hay early tonight...back to work and day care tomorrow. More parties to come this weekend!
Posted by Sara at 7:37 PM 0 comments
Friday, December 21, 2007
My Child and My Ex-Husband
Today is a tough day for me, as is any day when my ex-husband has my daughter for the day.
My ex doesn't see my daughter much. When we were married, he was a very hands-off parent...he never wanted to be alone with Grace, he never bathed her, he rarely fed her, and I got the impression that he would have been much happier watching a Law and Order marathon than spend some good quality time with Grace. This was a large part of the reason I decided to leave him. He was a crappy dad, pure and simple, and I was not about to put my child through a lifetime of that.
Right after my ex and I split up, he saw Grace a couple of times a week. The visits were short and most of them were spent with me coaching my ex on what to do (and not to do) with Grace. "No, it's not ok to plunk her in front of the TV for hours." "No, you can't feed her McDonald's at every meal." "You should probably get some healthy snacks in your apartment." "Try to engage her in conversation--read her a book." "Wet diapers must be changed immediately so she doesn't get a rash." It was enough to drive me out of my wits, but I had to do it for Grace's sake.
His visits became less and less frequent, and then I eventually stopped calling him to try and initiate a visit. Visits went from twice a week to weekly, then a couple times a month, and now we are averaging about once every six weeks or so. He was also supposed to call Grace every Monday night to chat with her, even though he thought that was pointless. Those calls stopped months ago.
Ok, I need to stop here and vent. If you TRULY cared about your child, wouldn't you want to see him or her frequently? Wouldn't you at least flipping CALL every now and then to check in on your child? Wouldn't you have a vested interest in her school, her health, her moods, her daily life? Do you care that you are potentially damaging your child's self esteem by showing her that one of her parents doesn't have the time to even place a five minute call once a week check in on her? And, I'm sorry, but you don't go from being a sad excuse for a parent to parent of the year because you take a four-hour parenting course. It doesn't work that way.
But I digress...
So, a couple of weeks ago, my ex called me and told me that his mom wanted to see Grace around Christmastime. (Oh yeah, the only time he wants to see Grace is when his mother initiates a visit.) My stomach dropped when I received this call. Yes, legally he has the right to see Grace when he wants to. But, the past several times he has taken her for the day, Grace has come home looking DRAINED. She has told me a couple of times that she doesn't want Daddy to pick her up. Last visit, he took Grace to the Children's Museum here in Milwaukee, and something there scared her so much that even mentioning the idea of going to a museum to Grace sends her into a panic. Aaron and I made the mistake of taking her to a museum recently to tour a space for our wedding reception, and when we told her we were in a museum, she threw a huge tantrum. Shaking from head to foot--she was terrified. It took at least a half hour to convince her this was not the museum she went to with Daddy and that she didn't have to be afraid.
And what did my ex say when I confronted him about this? He blew it off and said he had no idea why she would be acting that way. Yeah freaking right. Are you that clueless, or are you just a liar?
So, naturally, when visit time with my ex comes, I turn into a basket case. I don't sleep for a week before the visit, and I am useless the day of the visit. Becoming a mom has opened up a whole slew of new emotions I never knew I had, and one of the rawest and most powerful of those emotions is the fear of something bad happening to your child. I have no control over what happens at these visits, and if my ex was at least halfway responsible, I would feel better about things. But, he's not, so I don't. And, the worst of it is, I know he will not be honest with me about what happens during a visit. Things could have gone horribly but he will go on and on about how much fun Grace had and how much he adores her. So, I have to rely on a three-year-old to give me the facts, and that is not a position I want to put my daughter in.
The other thing that gets to me is that he loves to play the role of the doting father at these visits. He gives her gifts. He takes her to do fun stuff. He doesn't discipline her. THIS ISN'T PARENTING! This is a glorified version of babysitting in which the child has free reign and gets whatever she wants.
I do the best I can to prepare Grace for these visits. A few days ago, I started to tell Grace that Daddy would be coming to pick her up for a visit this week and that it would be lots of fun. I told her that Grandma has Christmas gifts for her and that she'd get to open them at the visit. I told her that Aarie and I would be there to pick her up before bedtime. She understood what I was saying and even seemed a little excited about the visit so I tried to convey nothing but positive messages to her so she wouldn't go into it feeling apprehensive. Then, I laid awake every night this week dreading today. Part of being a parent is sometimes, for your child's benefit, jamming your own feelings as far down as they can go and not letting them out. I think this is particularly true for divorced parents.
Grace seemed happy to see my ex this morning when he picked her up, but I noticed a look of panic on her face as I put her in his car. I swallowed hard and smiled and told her that today was going to be a fun day and that I loved her so much and that Mommy and Aarie would pick her up tonight before bed. She said, "I will be a good girl,"and then they were off.
So, today has been a tough day for me. I found it hard to concentrate at work because my mind would always wander back to Grace and wonder if she is scared or if she is having fun or if she needs me. I called to check on her earlier, and it sounded like things were going ok. I am eagerly watching the clock and waiting for the time to come to go and pick her up.
Sorry, I know this entry really isn't in the spirit of the season. I promise that once I get through today, things will brighten up significantly for me.
Posted by Sara at 3:35 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Day Care versus K4
Well, we have come to that point in Grace's life when it is time to start thinking about her future schooling. Believe it or not, my little girl actually has the nerve to keep growing up, so I might as well face it and try and prepare her the best I can.
When Grace and I moved to Milwaukee to be with Aaron, the initial plan was for the three of us to live in Aaron's house for about a year or so, and when the time came for Grace to start attending kindergarten, we would move out to the 'burbs. Milwaukee Public Schools in general don't have the greatest reputation in the world, so we were planning to move out of the city so Grace could attend a school in a nearby district.
Now that Grace and I have been here for a while and are putting down roots in our neighborhood (which I LOVE), Aaron and I have decided to stay in the city for a while. I have done some research into Milwaukee Public Schools, and yes, like any other large city, there are plenty of schools in our district that I wouldn't dream of allowing Grace to attend. However, there are also an abundance of schools, including our neighborhood schools, that are excellent, award-winning learning centers. I am also fortunate enough to have friends that have both taught in MPS and were MPS students, and I have gotten tons of great information from them about the district and about some of the specific schools in our area.
Grace has been in day care since she was six weeks old because I have needed to work full time. The day care she attends right now is fantastic--Grace absolutely loves it, she's learning tons of stuff, she is coming out of her shell more and more each day, the rates are reasonable, class sizes are small, and it's less than a mile from our home. The center's administrator has a Master's degree in Early Childhood Education and 25 years of experience at this facility, and it shows. The curriculum is organized, challenging, and balanced. The children clearly flourish there, and it is apparent that the teachers truly enjoy their work and care for the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better environment for Grace.
I had planned to keep her in this day care until kindergarten, but recently I have been weighing the idea of enrolling her in the K4 program that our neighborhood elementary school offers. The attractive thing about the K4 program is that, starting at age four, there is more exposure to the "academic" side of things and there is a real focus on preparing kids for school. And, our neighborhood elementary school is actually a specialty school, concentrating on Arts and Humanities. Being that Grace is an artsy kid, I think that building on that interest and providing her opportunities to learn more would serve her well. This particular school has received honors from the state for their programs and word of mouth from some of the parents whose younger kids attend Grace's day care along with lots of research tells me that this particular school is one of the best in the district.
The other reason why I am seriously considering enrolling Grace in K4 is a letter we received recently from Grace's day care. In the letter, the administrator clearly states that the center's focus is shifting from a "preschool" type of environment to an "infant, toddler, and older toddler" program. Red flag. It is true that many of the center's families enroll their children in the K4 so there aren't an abundance of four-year-olds in the center (in fact, there are only a handful), and this shift in focus shows me that the center is responding to that fact. I understand where they are coming from--they have to tailor their program to work for the majority of the kids--but I'm more than a little concerned about what will happen to Grace if I keep her in this center next year and she becomes one of the only four-year-olds there. Will she be blended in with the younger kids? Will she continue to be challenged? Will keeping her in this center help to prepare her for kindergarten?
She loves this day care center, and so do I, but I need to weigh these issues. I want Grace to be prepared and to have all of the opportunities that she can to gain knowledge. I also want her to be in an environment where she feels comfortable enough to flourish. Transition has not always been something Grace has handled well...she's like her mommy in that respect. I am touring our neighborhood elementary school the first week in January and enrollment time comes right after that, so I'm going to have to make a decision pretty quickly. Looks like some late nights pacing the floor and doing internet research are in store for me.
Posted by Sara at 2:00 PM 1 comments
Sunday, December 16, 2007
She's Definitely My Kid
This pic was taken yesterday while my little one was enjoying a double fudge chocolate cupcake at the cafe inside Barnes and Noble. Mmmm...the only thing that kept me from nabbing a piece of it was the fact that my pants were feeling a bit tight. :-(
Normally, I wouldn't have caved and let her have so much sugar in one sitting, but we had had a long day of shopping and she was remarkably well-behaved all day, so I felt she deserved it.
Posted by Sara at 6:57 PM 0 comments
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Venting For the Sake of Venting
I have two totally unrelated stories to tell, just because I feel like venting and I am hoping that things look a little brighter for me after I hit "publish post" and move on with my day.
The first story has to do with my upcoming 30th birthday. For the last year or so, I have been looking at this new milestone with some trepidation, not because I think 30 is SO OLD (relax, you over-30 friends, you) but just because I have really enjoyed being in my 20's and would kind of like to stay here. So, my bright idea was to take a trip as a birthday present to myself, to hopefully usher in the next decade of my life with a memorable vacation and get rid of any negative feelings I may have about my birthday. The first thought was taking a trip to Las Vegas, since I've never been there and have been wanting to go for some time.
After some thought, though, I changed my mind on my vacation destination. My grandparents are snowbirds who head down to Green Valley, AZ every winter to escape the seasonal hellhole that we have to endure in Wisconsin. They have been going down there for at least the last fifteen years or so, and I love going to visit them. Now that my grandparents are older and aren't in fantastic health, I see more value in going to see them than going to Vegas. After all, Vegas will be around forever, and unfortunately, my grandparents will not. So, my birthday trip will be to Arizona and I am so excited.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a very fearful flyer. I have flown zillions of times and I used to tolerate it, but a bad experience that I had on a flight, coupled with the horrible images from 9/11 that have been seared into my brain, have left me terrified to fly. Sure, I'll do it, and I did it three times this year, but I am the type that is nervous about it two weeks before the flight and can't truly relax and enjoy a vacation (at least the last day or two) because I am stressing about the return flight home. So, my only concern about my Arizona trip, naturally, is the flight. Last night on my way home from work (see, I am already obsessing and my birthday is over two months away) I came up with a brilliant alternative...road trip.
(Ok, I know, I know. I am far more likely to die in a car accident than a plane crash. Unfortunately, this logic doesn't work in my brain for some reason. I can tell myself that I'm safer on a plane than on any other form of transportation thousands of times...I still don't calm down. I guess I just don't want this stress during my birthday.)
As a kid, I made the cross-country drive to Arizona several times with my parents. It was always a blast and I have tons of great memories from our journeys. I saw this as an opportunity to take one such trip with my new husband and daughter and maybe start a new tradition. Yeah, it's a long ass drive, but there is so much beauty along the way and so many cool places to stop that I think everyone should do it at least once. The journey there and home is part of the excitement. I couldn't wait to tell my hubby about this new plan last night at dinner. I just knew he would be stoked by the idea as well.
He wasn't.
After hearing my presentation, he was silent for a minute and then asked, "Drive to Arizona? You're doing this because you don't want to fly, right?" He then took this opportunity to remind me that our child is a preschooler and then made a very helpful comment about how small my car is. He also told me that we would have to have the brakes fixed before we would go. "Fine", I said--I have to do that anyway. And then he added, "You have been putting off getting your oil changed...when are you going to get your car fixed?" And then he did a quick financial analysis in his head and concluded that flying would be more cost-effective than driving anyway.
At this point I was beyond pissed off. After all, this was the man that had told me over and over "It's your 30th, we will do whatever you want." My hubby is a great guy, the best, but we are newlyweds and thus are butting heads over things like this because we are still finding our way together. And, I realize that perhaps I'm not being the most reasonable here, either. Yes, flying would be much faster and probably a little cheaper than driving (although my Saturn gets great gas mileage). I should probably suck it up and fly, but I don't want to. Not this trip. I want my new family to have our first road trip. I want my daughter to start making all of the great memories I got to make as a kid. And, I'm sorry, but I don't want to spend my whole vacation thinking, "You still have the flight home..." And I know having a three-year-old in the car for hours and hours probably won't be the easiest, but I at least want to give it a shot. I know there will be future vacations where I will have no choice but to fly, like when we go to Mexico or Europe, or even back to Disney. I guess I just wanted to do it differently for this trip.
So, we're stuck. Aaron obviously wants to fly and I am standing my ground, too. It's bugging me. I know disagreements are inevitable in marriage as they are in any relationship, but I wanted my way on this one since it means so much to me. And at the risk of sounding spoiled and whiny, it's my birthday trip, dammit. I'm sure we will eventually reach an agreement on this. It's just getting there that will be the challenge, kind of like the trip to Arizona itself.
The other story has to do with government bureaucracy. I should know better than to get worked up about this, especially being an Army ex-wife and having lived a few years filled with bureaucracy, but I can't help myself.
I have not received my regular child support payment from my ex in over a month. I used to get checks every two weeks like clockwork, but they suddenly stopped coming, and right before the holidays. I'm sure this has to do with the fact that my ex changed jobs some time ago and the state of Wisconsin doesn't know about it. I'm not going into a dissertation about how it's his responsibility to inform them and blah, blah, blah--this isn't the forum to hash that out. What does really irk me is that there is no system of checks and balances in place to prompt the state agencies to SEEK OUT that information to ensure kids get the support they are entitled to. Sure, parents can get tossed in jail after 180 days of non-payment, but what happens in the interim? Isn't there some sort of intermediate form of intervention by the state?
I know some parents go years without any support from their child's other parent, so I feel kind of bad complaining about just one month. It's not like the payments we receive save us from plunging into utter poverty. But, I see this as an injustice to my child, and like any mom, that bothers the hell out of me. That money is used to help pay for her day care expenses and stuff like that.
So, I did all of the things I thought I should do to try and resolve this situation. I made sure the child support agency had our proper address. I signed up for online account access so I could monitor all activity on the account. I updated my phone number. And, I waited.
Today, I finally broke down and did something I didn't want to do, which was call the state about this. I had been hesitant to do this because I know the agency is probably totally swamped and I wanted to make sure I let some time pass in case my ex had in fact informed them of his change of employer and they were just a little backlogged. Something similar to this happened when we started receiving support, and after a couple of weeks, things worked themselves out. I was hoping the same thing would happen this time.
After waiting on hold for an eternity with the child support agency, I finally talked to a live person. Armed with social security numbers, case numbers, and all of the information I could find, I explained the situation. Obviously the agent had heard this story a million times before, because she cut me off before I could finish and told me with a high degree of annoyance in her tone that they can't do anything for me until my ex reports his income changes. I asked her if there was something I could do, and she answered with an emphatic, "No." And then she asked me if I needed anything else and hung up.
Ugh, ugh, UGH! I feel really bad for those poor single moms or dads who desperately rely on this income to feed and clothe their children. One month of missed payments could be devastating to them.
I realize that it would be a huge undertaking to go after every single parent who misses a child support payment. I'm sure the funding simply is not there...it's being redirected at other productive and helpful things, like funding an endless war and finding ways to deny that there is such a thing as global warming. But, I can't force my ex to call the state to report his changes to get the process going again, so there is nothing I can do right now except wait. And, waiting is something that I am simply not good at.
I'm about to hit "publish post". We'll see how I am feeling in a few minutes.
Posted by Sara at 12:37 PM 2 comments