Bumpwatch

This comes as a shock to me...I have recently been the subject of a bumpwatch...Britney, watch out.

This morning when I dropped Grace off at day care, one of the teachers pulled me aside gently and whispered to me while smiling broadly, "Are you pregnant?"

At this point, I pulled a Dr. John Dorian (Zach Braff in Scrubs), tilting my head, looking off into the distance, and participating in an internal monologue that went something like this:

Huh? Pregnant? What the hell? I know I gained a few pounds over the holidays, but geez, I didn't think I looked THAT big! Ugh, Aaron is wrong--I am a fat ass!!! Fat ass, fat ass, FAT ASS!!! I knew these pants looked too small on me, but I thought the jacket would have masked the belly. I can't believe she thinks I am pregnant!!! I thought I was looking a little thinner! I have been eating way less than before! Ugh! I am destined to a life of being overweight!

It's one thing to be asked if you're pregnant when you ACTUALLY ARE, but when you're not, it can be a bit of a blow. When I finally recovered, I smiled as sweetly as I could and said, "Nope, not pregnant." I hoped my smile and polite demeanor didn't reveal the anguish and horror I was feeling inside. I then intended to slink away as quietly as possible and therefore drop the subject forever. And then maybe go and cry in my car.

As I was leaving, the teacher stopped me and said, "The only reason I ask is because Grace keeps saying, 'My mama has a baby in her tummy.' The other teachers and I have been trying to look at you to see if you look pregnant, but I figured I would just ask you."

Ooooooohhhhhhhh. Sweet relief. But then again, huh?

I racked my brain to try and figure out where Grace could have possibly come up with the notion that I had a baby growing in my belly. It's not exactly a supper table conversation topic for us. The only time I think I have ever mentioned anything to Grace about having a baby in my tummy was when I explained to her where she came from (the basics, anyway).

Then it hit me...ELMO. On one of Grace's Elmo videos, titled "Elmo Visits the Doctor", there is a short blurb featuring a young kid who accompanies his pregnant mom to the doctor for one of her prenatal checks. Even though it has seriously been weeks since Grace has watched this video, I'm pretty sure that this is where she got the idea from. Grace has a knack for, without any sort of provocation, pulling an idea or a memory out of her head about something that could have happened weeks or months ago. She still remembers even the tiniest details about our trip to Disney, and that was back in October. The kid has a great memory.

I intend to ask Grace about this tonight to try and find out if my Elmo theory is correct or not. In the meantime, I'm gonna chuckle at the thought of Grace's day care teachers eying my belly and wondering, "Is she? Isn't she?"