A Day in the Life of a Working Mom

I recently read the book "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" (which, incidentally, is way better than the movie) and thought the idea of chronicling a day in my own life might be interesting. It might give me some insight into where all the time goes, and might be a little entertaining too. (I decided to leave out information about my weight or the amount of calories I took in throughout the day.) So, here goes...today, in the life of me.

4:30am (or so)--Woken up by Gracie, who wanted to crawl in bed with Aaron and me. Pulled G up onto bed and heard some unintelligible mumbling from husband. Contemplated asking him to repeat what he mumbled, but thought the better of it and fell back asleep.

5:27am--Woke up panicking that I had missed the alarm. Since I am virtually blind without contacts or glasses and was trapped between G and husband, woke husband up to find out what time it was. Turns out I hadn't missed the alarm and had all of 18 minutes more to sleep. More unintelligible mumbling from husband. I think I know what he said this time, but I won't repeat it here.

5:45am--Jolted out of sleep by NPR. Woke husband up again to ask him to let me out of bed, since I was blocked by G on the other side. Husband grudgingly agreed.

5:46am--Took two extra-strength ibuprofen tablets to combat throbbing headache. Regretted decision to stay up late last night to watch entire Packer game, even though it was quite exciting and a real nail-biter up till the very end.

6:30am--Showered, dressed, and headed downstairs to make G's breakfast and lunch. Put on Wiggles video to keep G entertained briefly before heading to day care.

6:45am--Dressed G for school. Today was orange day (in celebration of Halloween tomorrow), so dressed G in orange Halloween shirt, much to G's delight.

7:00am--Said goodbye to husband after being briefed on his fantasy football team and someone's unfortunate decision to waive Aaron Kampman before last night's game. Who would have known he would have had three sacks last night?

7:12am--Turned off the Wiggles and headed out the door with G. Pointed out pink sunrise clouds to G and watched a jet take off over our house.

7:20am--Dropped G off at day care and headed to work. Decided to listen to CNN on the satellite radio instead of my usual alternative rock station.

7:35am--Huh...no traffic. Thought to self that it must be my lucky day.

7:45am--Arrived at work and hit the ground running. Delighted to hear that the first song played upon tuning in to usual alternative rock station was "London Calling" by the Clash.

8:15am--Ran downstairs to vending machine for a bag of microwave popcorn and a Diet Pepsi. Breakfast of champions, baby. Passed up free bagels and cream cheese and praised self on amazing self-restraint.

8:20am--Coworker and Weight Watcher buddy stopped by to lend me her copy of season one of "Ugly Betty". Thanked her, and then saw on the back of the DVD case that season one totals 922 minutes. Wondered to myself when in the hell I would have 922 free minutes to actually watch some discretionary programming.

9:00am--Chatted with husband on Instant Messenger about possible venues for our wedding reception. Decided that both the Art Museum and the Public Museum were way out of our price range, much to my dismay. Found some other cool venues and contacted them for tours.

9:15am--Finally got serious about getting some work done.

11:00am--Hmmm...stomach began to growl and also received meeting request from supervisor for a meeting starting at 12:30pm with one of our modeling agencies. Made quick decision to leave at 11:30 for lunch and wondered whose decision it was to schedule a meeting halfway through the normal lunch hour.

11:30am--Ducked out of the office and headed to Target to pick up cupcake mix and frosting for G's Halloween party at day care tomorrow, soda for my desk at work, and various items for G's Halloween costume.

11:45am--Slipped and fell on my way to register to purchase my items at Target. Cursed decision to wear high heels today and resolved to wear sensible shoes from now on. Also made a mental note to send sister an email about this incident, as this was the second time I wiped out at a Target, and she was present for the first occurrence.

11:50am--Wolfed down some stale nachos with nasty cheese at Target cafeteria.

12:10pm--Headed back to office and then over to main building for 12:30pm meeting.

12:30pm--Attended meeting. Turns out I didn't need to eat lunch, as agency people provided ample treats from Starbucks. Had a cookie anyway.

2:00pm--Back at my desk, participated in conference call with two new hires. It wasn't terribly exciting.

3:30pm--Sent sister an email relating story of second Target wipeout. Quickly received response that read, "OH MY GOSH. I'm trying not to laugh at you."

4:45pm--Decided that I had had just about enough work for the day, and left the office. Also decided that music seemed a bit too loud for my drive home, and opted to listen to talk radio instead. Made mental note to thank husband for insisting on installing satellite radio in both of our vehicles.

4:49pm--Shut off talk radio...was feeling disgruntled after hearing story about nation's political problems. Opted to listen to The Decemberists instead. This was a good decision.

4:55pm--Huh...again, no traffic. Indeed, this is my lucky day.

5:10pm--Arrived home at last. Found husband and G in the living room...husband was folding laundry and G was on the couch watching the PBS program "Maya and Miguel". Felt very glad to be home.

5:30pm--Made Halloween cupcakes for G's party at school tomorrow, with G's help. G ate more batter than she actually put into the cupcakes. Promised husband he could have a cupcake before I sent the batch off to school with G tomorrow.

5:55pm--Sat down to a supper of pita bread pizzas with G and husband.

6:00pm--Brother-in-law called to brag about his Guitar Hero III-playing prowess. Brought him back down to earth by reminding him that husband and I are playing the game on medium level, while lowly brother-in-law is still floundering on the easy level. Suggested that brother-in-law purchase a Wii so all of us can play Guitar Hero together online. Laughed at self for turning into a gaming enthusiast.

6:20pm--G declared, "I wanna dance," so I grabbed a CD compilation of children's songs and cranked it up. Husband and G boogied.

6:25pm--Excused myself from dance party in the living room to put away laundry that husband so graciously folded earlier. Chuckled to myself as I realized that putting away laundry by oneself is actually a relaxing activity.

6:40pm--Rejoined dance party. Danced in manner of frog, dog, snake, cow, and other animals at G's request. Husband turned on video camera and taped the action. Hoped I didn't look horrendously fat in tank top and jeans. Imagined self watching video in 20 years and thinking that this haircut was a mistake.

7:00pm--Frosted cupcakes and agreed to let G and husband each have one. Enjoyed one myself.

7:15pm--Bathed G. G decided to entertain me with a lovely story about a little girl who was caught in a rainstorm but later found a rainbow with her grandpa. Sang the bumblebee song with G and then coaxed her out of the bath.

7:40pm--Turned on Dora the Explorer for G to help her wind down for the night. Updated blog.

8:06pm--Delighted to hear G say, "I wanna go to bed now." Scooped her up, per our nightly ritual, carried her up the steps and laid her in bed. Noticed as I turned off the lights that I could hear husband power up his Wii and begin to play his newly procured version of Guitar Hero III in the living room. Wondered if he finally was able to unlock some new songs.

8:40pm--Joined husband downstairs and confirmed suspicions that husband was playing Guitar Hero III. Updated blog. Began doing more research on reception venues in Milwaukee.

9:05pm--So, here I am. I am predicting that I will play a few rounds of Guitar Hero III if Aaron decides to let me have a turn (although that doesn't look terribly likely right now), and I will probably turn in for the night around 10:30pm. Reading this over, I'm not surprised that I am so tired at the end of a normal day. It also appears that I don't do a heck of a lot of work while actually at work. This really isn't accurate--I didn't want to bore readers with the minutae of my not-so-thrilling job.

So, that's it. It appears that I am finally going to get a turn with the guitar. Cheers!

Bizarro Child

Thought that I would depart a bit from the recent wedding-centered theme of my blog and relate an amusing story about Grace. She never ceases to amaze me.

Most kids Gracie's age are in the "Why?" stage, in which they inquire about anything and everything. My niece, who is five months younger that Grace, is an avid "Why?" asker, and after spending sometime with my niece in Florida and being asked, "Why?" about five hundred times, I started to notice more and more how Gracie almost never asks, "Why?" Sure, every once in a while she'll ask, but most of the time she seems satisfied with the answers we give her the first time around, and if she is wondering about something, she tends to ask about it in a different way (i.e., "I can't play with that because it's bedtime?"). It's like she states her theories about things in the form of a question.

And, it turns out Gracie actually discourages the constant "Why?" asking. Here is a conversation I had with her about a half an hour ago, after I learned that she hasn't been eating her lunches at day care:

Me: "Why didn't you eat your lunch today at school?"

Grace: "Because I didn't eat it."

Me: "Why not?"

Grace: "Stop asking me that."

Hmm. I've been shut down. I have to admit, it made me chuckle.

Wedding Week Highlights

So, as many of you know, our wedding last week was part of a larger vacation to Florida with our immediate families. Naturally, the wedding ceremony itself was the biggest highlight of the week, but there were several other noteworthy happenings as well. Here they are.

-Watching Gracie get SO excited to see Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Snow White, and Jasmine at the Breakfast with the Princesses. Life looks so much more interesting and magical when I see it through the eyes of my own little princess.

-Our wedding cake. I'm not a frosting person--I'm usually the one turning down a frosting-covered corner piece of cake for a middle piece with much less frosting. But, our cake was simply delicious, frosting and all. The cake was light as a feather, and the frosting wasn't the usual sugary stuff. It was like eating flavored whipped cream. Yummy. I still have some in my fridge if anyone is interested.

-Extended time basking in the sun by the pool. We spent all of our first day by the pool and most of the day after the wedding in our swimsuits enjoying the warm sunshine and occasionally taking a dip in the refreshing water.

-The annual Food and Wine Festival at Epcot. Aaron and I hit Epcot by ourselves on the last day of the trip, and luckily, we made it in time for the festival. There were food and wine selections from over 20 countries from all over the world stationed at various locations all over the park, and we enjoyed ourselves. By the end of the day, we were stuffed with every kind of food imaginable and drunk from a wide variety of wines. My favorites: the German sausage wrapped in a pretzel roll and topped with sauerkraut and the French pomegranite champagne.

-Disney's customer service. The wedding ceremony, transportation, and reception dinner went off without a hitch, and we did next to nothing to prepare for any of it. We left it all in the hands of our very capable wedding coordinator, and she did a fabulous job. And, she did it all with a smile on her face...the money we spent for all of this was well worth it.

-All-you-can-drink iced tea. 'Nuff said.

-Our wedding vows. Aaron's were a perfect reflection of his personality--funny, genuine, kind, loving, and from the heart. I'd like to think mine measured up to his. And, I managed to get almost halfway through mine without starting to cry. Bert was right. Waiting to write your vows till the night before the wedding is the best idea. I know mine were written while feeling the truest emotions that one feels right before their wedding.

-Spending time with my "old" family and my "new" family. I had the opportunity to spend really good, quality time with my parents, my sister and her husband, and my daughter away from the pressures of everyday life, and I will always cherish that. And, I got to spend tons of time with Aaron's family, my new family, too. I really enjoyed getting to know all of them better and feeling the warm welcome into their lives.

-Sleeping in. It's something I don't get to do much these days, and I really appreciated the few mornings that didn't begin with a blaring alarm clock and splitting headache.

-Coming home with my new husband. Gotta love it.

Wedding pics...

Here are some pics from the wedding!! More to come!

Mrs. K

Well, we're back from Florida, and I'm enjoying my fourth full day of married life. The trip was wonderful in every possible way, with the minor exceptions of the extremely humid weather in Florida and the fact that Aaron had a stomach bug most of the day after the wedding. I will post pictures as soon as I can, and I will also include the link for our professional photos as soon as it's available to me. And, I promise more details about our wedding, and our vacation, as soon as I get caught up on my sleep. But, for now, the whole experience can be summed up in one word...magical. More to come!!

The All Girls School

I work at an all girls school. It's not a school in the traditional sense...it's a department in a marketing firm in which 26 out of the 27 employees are females and the one male that works with us is trying as hard as he can to "girl it up" so he can fit in. It's an all girls school, and I'm the weird older student who started school towards the end of the year and who no one knows or bothers to get to know.

Here's the deal...I started working at this company over a month ago, after moving to Milwaukee. It sounded like a great opportunity at the time, and I thought I would have a head start there, since Aaron worked at this company a couple of years back and I had already met quite a few people that work there now through Aaron at various social gatherings.

Turns out that all the people that I had previously met through Aaron actually work at the main building, which is down the road from the building that I work in. Not a big deal, I thought to myself--I would just meet my coworkers at this building and it would work out just fine.

Wrong again. I sensed during my first week that I didn't fit in. The first thing I noticed was that everyone in the department is quite a bit younger than me. The second thing that I noticed was that there are very few wives or mothers in the department. These facts in and of themselves aren't a big deal, but when you add the fact that the department is an iron-clad clique that no one can break into, things become uncomfortable for this new girl.

My suspicions about my social status were soon confirmed. I decided to give things a shot and have lunch with some of the "girls" during my second week at work. The other girls were talking about hitting the clubs with their boyfriends and shopping all weekend long (things I never get to do anymore but really don't miss much anyway). I thought that maybe adding to the conversation by talking about shopping with my daughter the weekend before would be a good way to introduce the girls to my life and maybe pique some interest or forge a common bond. However, the mere mention of having a child halted the conversation in its tracks. I could just about hear the crickets chirping in the background.

And then there's the age factor. From what I have heard, most of the girls I work with are in their early 20's, and I am turning 30 in March. Not too many years separate us, but I happen to believe there is a huge difference between a 23-year-old and a 29-year-old, especially given some of the life experiences I have had over the past several years. In fact, my first day, I was training with a girl who graduated from my alma mater. She asked me what year I graduated, and when I told her, her exact words were, "You're old." I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, "Well, you should lay off the cupcakes."

I've always been a little awkward, socially speaking. Back in high school I was the girl who was involved in everything, but chose to stick with just a couple of close friends or enjoy some solitude rather than hang out with tons of people. In college, I joined a sorority only to drop out a couple of months later because I felt like I didn't fit in. I'm finding that a lot of those feelings that I thought I had left back in my college days are surfacing again.

I guess the difference now is that I've grown into my own skin. I can look at the girls I work with and feel a twinge of rejection, but that's quickly replaced by one simple thought...It doesn't really matter to me. After all, it's just a job, and in the scheme of things, I probably won't forge long-term relationships with these people anyway. Yeah, it would be nice to be close to the people I spend a majority of my day with, but if I'm not, I guess that's ok. I get to come home to the people that really matter to me at the end of the day anyway.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what I'm going to do when I grow up...

Long time no blog...

I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time, mostly because Aaron set up our wedding website and I have been posting on there, but also because I have just been too damn busy. So, I have decided that it's high time I start posting on here again because I love to write and honestly, I have been missing it.

Another reason I decided to start blogging again was that I have been noticing some things lately that are truly blog-worthy. And, since I'm sure Aaron needs a break from my rants every now and then, I suppose this is a good outlet for me.

So, the other day I had a truly crappy day at work, and I decided to leave a little early, get some gas, and get home to the people that make me happy. The lines at the gas station were long, as usual, and it seemed to me that half the pumps at this station were out of order. So, after waiting in line for at least five minutes (doesn't seem too long thinking about it now, but at the time, it seemed like an eternity), my turn at the pump finally came. Much to my dismay, some one else decided that it was their turn, too, and dove right in front of me and stole the pump. Then, instead of pumping gas and getting out of the way so I could take my turn, the guy gets out of his car and walks into the gas station, comes out with a slushie and assorted goodies, and drives away without putting a drop of gas in his car. Seriously. I sat in disbelief as he drove off, and apparently I sat there long enough that another patron saw his chance and pulled in next to the pump I had been waiting for. (It should be stated that at least this guy actually USED the pump, so the sting wasn't quite as bad.)

After I finally fueled up my car, I was frazzled and ready to just get home. But, as anyone that lives in Milwaukee knows, any commute through town is going to involve at least some sort of construction delay, and this day was no exception. I was mentally prepared for this, but I wasn't prepared for the guy who swerved into my lane while he was simultaneously talking on his cell phone and eating a Big Mac. I also wasn't prepared for the guy who tailgated me for half the commute and then flashed a rather inappropriate gesture in my direction when he finally passed me. (This dude had a Jesus fish on his car...the irony was not lost on me.)

I realize that I might be sounding a bit whiny, but one thing occurred to me once I got home. People are in such a rush that they don't take the time to be courteous. I can't stand that. If there is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it's that there is so much more to people than meets the eye. The guy in the car next to me could have just learned that his wife has cancer. The girl in the cube across the row from me might be grieving over a miscarriage. Yeah, I had just had a crappy day and things could have been much, much worse, but I was struck by how no one seemed to be thinking of anyone but themselves that afternoon. I think the world would be a much better place if people just stopped to think about others, and do something small, like let someone pass you on the highway or give up your spot in line.

Ok, I just realized that the battery on my laptop only has 15% of its life left, so I'm forced to close. Be back soon!

Wedding Stuff

So, for those of you that actually read this thing (hi Jenny, Angie, Dad, and sometimes Aaron), just wanted to let you know that Aaron set up a wedding website for our upcoming nuptuals. The website is http://wedding.kohlbeck.org/aaronandsara

If you want wedding updates and other information, check it out. I posted our engagement story on that site, and will probably have some additional blog entries as well. Yay wedding!

29

Today, around 3:30pm, I turn 29. Up until this morning, I had been having kind of a hard time with the thought of celebrating the last birthday of my twenties, but when I woke up today, I felt differently about the whole thing. Actually, I’m pretty excited about life right now. First off, I got engaged last Saturday to a man that I know will make me truly, truly happy. So it’s very possible that there is a wedding coming up in my 29th year, and I’m ecstatic about that. And, Gracie has been doing well lately…she’s blossoming into an awesome little kid, and I am so blessed to be her mom. I can’t wait to watch her grow up and experience her life with her. Things have been rocky on the job front lately, but that’s ok. I will get it taken care of. Life is good, and it’s getting even better.

Happy birthday to me. And hooray for 29!

Current Events

I’m growing tired of all of the Anna Nicole Smith coverage. Normally I would chalk all of this media hype up to plain silliness, but it’s getting excessive. It seems that I can’t turn on the TV or the radio or pull up my normal news website without being bombarded with headlines about and images of her. It’s gotten to the point where I’m forming strong opinions about this whole circus. I think I’ll share…Might as well add fuel to the fire.

Ok, first of all, I actually feel sorry for Anna Nicole Smith. The day after Anna Nicole died, I flipped on the TV, only to see her mother bashing her and her lifestyle. Lady, your child, your flesh and blood, is dead. Show some respect, some grief. Yes, I’m sure Anna Nicole probably embarrassed her mother, and she probably put her mother through some tough times. Yeah, she was somewhat of a national joke, but she was still a person, and I would think that if anyone could, her own mother could muster up at least an appearance of grief. Instead, she went on national TV with her lazy, aloof Southern drawl and told the world how drugged up her daughter was. Sad.

And, yes, I’m sure Anna Nicole had a substance abuse problem. I watched her reality show enough to know she was no Einstein. But, she was a mother, and as a mother, I can’t help but feel so terribly sorry for her that she lost a child. I can’t imagine that pain that she must have been feeling, and I pray I never experience it. I’ve read stories about how Anna Nicole had nightmares that her son was stuck in Purgatory and how she tried to climb into his casket with him at his funeral. How awful. I truly believe that if my child died at my bedside, or died at all for that matter, it would only be a matter of time before I followed her to the grave.

So, yes, I feel sorry for her and for her tragic, short life. Now she’s stuck in some morgue waiting for a decision on where she will ultimately rest. What a mess. Hopefully at least she is with her son again and has found some type of peace.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Britney Spears. Just one thing…Get yourself together. Get the help you need, and be a mother. Ok I’m done.

Long Week/Sweet Contentment

It has been a long week. It’s Friday afternoon and I’m feeling totally maxed out and drained and can only think of going home and relaxing in front of the TV with a nice glass of wine. (Yeah right, I have a 2 year old at home, who am I kidding?)

Surprisingly, the other feeling surfacing, other than exhaustion, is contentment. Yes, it’s been insane this week, but in a good way. Circumstances have been such at work that I have been needed to help out in other areas of the company where I normally don’t, and honestly, I’m loving it. One thing that bothered me about my past job with the paper company was that I didn’t get to use my Spanish skills a whole lot. Anyone that knows me well knows that Spanish, (the language, the cultures, the music, the food) is one of my passions. The language fascinates me and I spent years immersing myself in it, and when I was teaching it, I got to use it daily. Then, I took a job in Inside Sales and I didn’t use it nearly as much, and naturally, like any skill you don’t use on a regular basis, my ability to speak Spanish easily was starting to fade. I would jump at any opportunity I had to use my language skills, and those opportunities were few and far between. I often lamented at the fact that I had spent years honing my skills only to have them slip away.

Well, this week our company got slammed with tons of job openings at a company that works with Spanish speakers. As one of the few bilingual coordinators on staff here, I have had the opportunity to be a big participant in making calls to native Spanish-speakers to bring people in to work. At first, I had to think really hard to get through the phone calls I was making. The words were there, but the verb conjugations, the correct word tenses, and the noun/adjective agreement were rusty. My head was throbbing, and I told myself that it shouldn’t be this hard! Come on Sara! You were at the top of your class at language school in Mexico! I powered through it, though, and the calls started to get easier. Slowly, my confidence came back and it made me soooo happy to feel totally comfortable speaking Spanish again. Yeah, it’s probably a little cheesy, but I felt like I was regaining something that I had lost and had been missing. And, the really cool part is that Monday I get to spend the day at this company, so I’m going to get some face-to-face interaction with native Spanish speakers, rather than just communicating over the phone.

I like my job a lot even on the days when I’m not speaking Spanish, but the past few days I have felt that fulfillment career-wise that I have been really searching for and that I didn’t find at my last job. It’s a relief to know in my heart that I made the right decision to leave my former job and try my hand at something new. Ironically, the something new brought me back to something that has been around for quite some time.

Mrs. Claus?

Last night at supper, I saw all the proof I need that angels walk among us. My mom is out of town and my dad didn’t feel like eating supper alone last night, so he invited Gracie and me out to a local restaurant to grab some grub. I met my dad and Gracie at the restaurant after work, and although upon arrival Gracie seemed to be in a decent mood, things quickly deteriorated into near-meltdown status. Everything seemed to irritate Grace, and even attempts to divert Grace’s attention toward Christmas lights and dancing Santa statues proved futile. She was clearly tired out from her day, and when my usually happy child gets tired, she gets cranky and inconsolable—it never fails. She seemed intent on saying, “No!” to everything and making the evening generally unpleasant.

The food finally arrived (I had ordered a kid’s hamburger and fries for Gracie per her request) and Grace didn’t want anything to do with her meal. She was vehemently opposed to eating anything other than packet after packet of Sweet ‘n’ Low. She was crawling around on the booth, lying on the floor next to the booth, crawling under the table, and basically doing anything she could to avoid eating. Try as we might, my poor dad and I couldn’t get her to sit still and eat. My dad even went so far as to get up from the table, walk Grace all the way over to the other end of the restaurant to find her a new high (and, apparently) better high chair, only to bring it back over to the table and have Gracie decide she didn’t want to sit in it.

I was rapidly reaching the end of my rope and was just about ready to chalk the meal up as a loss and leave the restaurant, when a little, plump old lady walked over to our table. Grace had decided for the moment that the high chair her grandpa sought out for her was fine to sit in, but she wouldn’t put the chair anywhere near the table, where her food was quickly becoming cold. The lady asked Gracie if Santa was coming to her house this year, and much to my surprise, Grace sat right up in her chair and carried on a conversation with this lady all about Santa and how she better eat her fries and hamburger so Santa would bring her lots of presents. Was this my shy and reserved child, carrying on a conversation with a stranger? Immediately, Grace scooted her chair over to the table and started munching happily on her supper. My dad and I stared at her, completely dumbfounded, and I felt almost embarrassed that this little old lady could make my daughter behave when my attempts were a waste of time. How was it that a complete stranger could accomplish what my dad and I clearly couldn’t? After a few minutes of chatting a little more with Gracie, the little old lady said goodbye to all of us and walked away, and Grace cheerfully ate the rest (well, just about the rest) of her supper.

I’m not sure who this little old lady was and I’m sure I’ll never see her again, but if I could, I would give her a big hug and thank her for her much-needed intervention. In a world full of people that often roll their eyes and sigh in annoyance at mothers who are struggling to control their children, it was refreshing to meet someone who was willing to lend a hand.

She did it! Dr. Sears was right.

When Gracie was an infant, I made a decision to try co-sleeping, or as it is often referred to, a family bed. After doing a substantial amount of research, mostly reading articles on Attachment Parenting by Dr. William Sears, I decided to give this somewhat-controversial approach to sleep a shot. Basically, co-sleeping is a safe way in which a child shares a bed with his or her parents. According to Dr. Sears, this approach strengthens the bond between parent and child and can even help in the prevention of SIDS, as a parent is more aware of their child’s breathing patterns if the child is right there in bed with them. Most of the principles of Attachment Parenting appealed (and still do appeal) to me, mostly because there is a strong focus on the bond between parent and child and it seems like a more peaceful, nurturing way to parent.

Well, naturally, my decision to share a bed with Gracie was met with some raised eyebrows and criticism. Many non-Western cultures have embraced co-sleeping, but for some reason, it is looked down upon here. It is seen as coddling the child and as being unhealthy somehow, and the few parents that I know that have owned up to co-sleeping have seemed ashamed about it. I’ve found myself on the defensive several times when discussing this topic with other people, including close friends. Co-sleeping just seemed like the right option for Gracie and me—after all, it’s just her and me, and I work 9-10 hours per day, so any minute that I can spend with her is precious to me, and co-sleeping allows me to spend tons of extra time with her. It also enables me to respond quickly to her needs during the night, and provides tons of cuddle time with my little one.

Of course, one of my concerns when making this decision was how to bring an end to our co-sleeping arrangement when she grew too old for it. Dr. Sears’ articles say that most children that share a bed with their parents usually grow out of it between ages 2 and 3, and at that point they want to move into their own bed without much of a struggle. I always thought of this as somewhat of a pipe dream—I was certain there would be a struggle as soon as I even brought the idea up to Gracie. (Isn’t most everything a struggle with a toddler?) But I knew it had to be done sooner or later.

So, I moved Gracie’s “big girl” bed into my bedroom a few weeks ago. I started off by just letting her lay on the bed during her waking hours, then I started moving her over into her new bed after she had fallen asleep in my bed. After a few nights, she started to sleep in her big bed for the whole night after I moved her. Last night was a breakthrough for her. She didn’t even ask to lie down in my bed. At bedtime, she gathered up her blankie and her little stuffed bunny and laid down in her bed and fell asleep shortly thereafter. I couldn’t believe it. There was no struggle, no fussing, and no whining. She slept there the whole night, and woke up this morning like nothing had changed.

Who was the person struggling with this? Me! After she fell asleep, I had to fight off every urge I had to pick her up and put her back in my bed, just for one more night. I woke up several times during the night to check on her, only to find her happily sawing logs. Having a bed all to myself suddenly after sharing one with Gracie for two and a half years made me feel incredibly lonely and lost, and very sad. When I woke up this morning, I was surprised at how much I had missed her during the night and I couldn’t wait for her to wake up so I could talk to her and cuddle with her.

I am so, so proud of her, though. I know there will probably be a few relapses, when she will want to come back in bed with me, but she took a big step last night. I talked to my dad (who, incidentally, supported my decision from the beginning), and he was able to remind me that this is just one of many, many big steps that Gracie will be taking from here on out. And, I guess I will just have to get used to having all that sleeping space to myself! Time to invest in some fluffy pillows…

Happy Thanksgiving!

With Thanksgiving approaching, I think it’s pretty natural for a person to take inventory of the things in his or her life that are worth giving thanks for. What am I thankful for this year?

-Gracie, for the fact that she is healthy and happy and for all the sheer joy that she brings to my life.
-My parents, for their constant and undying support. Despite our occasional disagreements, they have always been there for me and I know they always will be.
-My sister, for being the best friend I could ever ask for and for being the best auntie in the world!
-Aaron, because he has restored my faith in love and has shown me there are still a few good guys out there (and for all of the good times I have had with him, and also for all of the awesome new music he has introduced me to).
-My job, because without it, I would be penniless and without health insurance!
-My friends, for all of the laughter and good times I have enjoyed because of them.
-My Seinfeld DVD’s, for getting me through those lonely nights after Gracie is in bed and when the house is entirely too quiet.
-MySpace, for reuniting me with old friends I thought were lost forever, and for introducing me to new friends!
-My apartment, because it is so nice to finally have a place for Gracie and me to have all to ourselves.
-My flat iron, for helping me out on those REALLY bad hair days.
-My health—even though I feel totally exhausted most of the time, I am healthy and that has allowed me to be the best mom I can be.
-Moisturizer, because as my mom pointed out, I’m starting to develop wrinkles around my eyes.
-Wine and hot baths and microwave popcorn, for helping me unwind at the end of a long day.

Looks like I’m a lucky girl!

Grass is always greener??

I had to run some errands today at lunch, and included in those errands was a stop at my parents’ house. My parents live on the nicer side of town, and as I was turning the corner onto their street, I spotted two moms that I see often when I run over to that side of town on lunch. I assume they are moms, because every time I see them, they are pushing these oversized strollers and they look to be about my age, which is a good age for having babies. Today as I passed them, walking briskly down the sidewalk, pushing their strollers in unison, wearing their cozy-looking fleece jackets, I felt a twinge of jealousy. No doubt, since I often see them out and about with their kids in the middle of the work day, they are stay-at-home moms. They probably are married to guys that have great jobs and earn enough money so that these women can stay home to raise their children instead of having to go and work outside the home.

I suppose I felt the twinge of jealousy because I have often thought about the benefits of being a stay-at-home mom, and being the single working mom that I am, this is something that just isn’t going to happen for me or for my daughter. I looked at the two other moms, strolling along happily, looking healthy and content, and then I looked at myself and felt tired, hurried, and overworked. I imagined what life as a stay-at-home mom would be like, as I have many times before, and felt a longing to be able to spend my days with Gracie, to be able to take her for a walk in the middle of the day on a Wednesday, and to not have to run in the door at 6:00 at night, already totally worn out from a full day’s work, and rush her through supper, bath time, and bedtime so that we can do it all over again tomorrow. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend all week lounging around, playing with Play dough, reading stories, taking walks, and most of all, spending that precious time with my child?

Then I came back to work. The phone was ringing off the hook, emails had to be answered, instant messages had to be returned, and paperwork had to be completed. I dove into the busy-ness of my job, and I suddenly realized something. I have something that often stay-at-home moms don’t have. I have a stimulating job, full of challenges and opportunities. I have meaningful professional relationships. I have this whole separate identity outside of being a mommy, and I think that helps me be a better mom. When I get home at night after being away from Grace all day, I am so incredibly happy to see her and I have missed her so much during the day that I am immediately and completely focused on her from the moment I step into the apartment until the moment she goes to bed. We have lots to talk about—what happened during her day at “school”, what she saw, what she learned, who she played with. Seeing her refreshes me and reminds me why I work so hard. And, I truly believe that being in day care is a good thing for Grace. She has blossomed into a fun, friendly, smart kid. She’s learning a ton, not the least of which is learning how to interact with others outside her family. And, she squeals with delight when we pull into day care everyday (well, most days), so it warms my heart to see how she truly enjoys her time at school.

Sure, being a single working mom is tough. After Grace goes to bed at night, I’m usually so pooped that all I can do is take a nice hot bath and sprawl out on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch Seinfeld reruns. Some days I barely know if I’m coming or going. But, I have to say that despite the difficulties, at the end of the day, I feel a sense of pride about what I am doing.

Cripes, eh...She's a cold one out there, in so?

There was snow on the ground this morning. Snow. And it’s the middle of October. I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me, since autumn in Wisconsin can be full of weird weather, and I guess snow in October isn’t really that foreign after all. I was more than ready for fall—I love the changing leaves and the crisp, fresh air and all of the fun fall activities. I was not ready to see snow on the ground (even though the weather people have been prognosticating about it for days) when I left my apartment this morning. Snow symbolizes the rapid descent into winter, the season of scurrying from building to car to building to avoid the cold and sunsets at 4:30 in the afternoon. The thought of six months of this after just having a wonderful summer was just about enough to suffocate me. I mean, there’s a WIND CHILL FACTOR this morning—the temperature outside is 28 degrees, but it feels like it’s 19!

But, instead of mope about it, I decided to embrace it. Grace was glancing curiously around at this “new” white substance on the ground, and since I have learned that seeing things through her eyes puts a new spin on things for me, I decided to do just that. We ran over to a small patch of snow on the grass and rubbed the snow all over our hands, and Gracie squealed with delight. We talked about sledding, making snowmen, and sliding around on the ice. She had lots and lots to say about this discovery. She may turn me into a winter fan after all.

Heaven is...

…watching your child sleep. Last night, after a chaotic night of fixing supper, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and getting Gracie through her nightly regimen of eating, playing, bathing, calming her down to a point where I could even think about bedtime, watching Baby Einstein, and finally putting her to bed, I decided to take a minute and gaze at this little person in her calmest, most serene state. Perfection. There’s nothing in the world like looking at your child when they’re off in Dreamland, watching them happily snoring away, and realizing what a gift you have been given.

The Power of the Snack

Grace and I are moving out of my parents’ house in a few weeks and into a duplex of our own. This is both exciting and a little scary. Probably the thing that is scaring me the most about this whole thing is how Gracie will react to living in a new place. After all, she and I have been living with my parents for the vast majority of Grace’s life, and this is the only real home that Grace knows. So, I am expecting at least some hesitation on her part, and I am hoping that it’s not a disaster.

I decided this morning as I was driving Grace to day care that I had better start introducing the idea of living in a new place to her. Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: “Gracie and Mama are going to have a new house.”

Grace: “New house.”

Me: “And all of Gracie’s toys will be at our new house.”

Grace: (silence)

Me: “And Mommy will be with Gracie.”

Gracie: “Grace and Mommy.”

Me: “Ok?”

Gracie: “Snacks?”

Me: “Yes, there will be snacks at our new house.”

Gracie: (nods head) “Ok.”

So, I guess that’s the key to making the move a smooth transition for Gracie—have plenty of snacks on hand. I can handle that.

Ergh

This is irritating.

I was skimming the news headlines today and came across this article. Apparently some folks in the photo department at CBS decided to alter Katie Couric’s file photograph to make her look twenty pounds lighter. I’ve been an occasional viewer of The Today Show over the years, and I think Katie Couric looks fantastic just the way she is, especially for a woman her age that has had children! This is just another illustration of society’s obsession with thinness. Ugh. It just makes me crazy. The photo was probably altered by some overweight, pompous middle-aged man with an inaccurate and unhealthy view of women. And what an insult to Katie Couric herself—as if she’s not beautiful the way she is!

I was slightly comforted, though, when I read Katie Couric’s response to this nonsense. She simply stated that she liked the unaltered photo, because there was more of her to love. Good for her for having a realistic and healthy view of herself!

Expanding Vocabulary: Attack of The Mouth

Ever since the moment Grace was born, I have been excited to hear all of the things she would say one day. I still remember the moment I heard her say her first REAL word--we were eating supper at the kitchen table, Gracie was seated in her high chair, and when she dropped a piece of food on the floor, she looked at me and said, "Uh-oh." I remember the sensation of pure pride and satisfaction that my child had finally uttered her first intelligible expression, and she actually used it in the proper context!

Soon, I became very interested in her quickly expanding vocabulary. I began reading her books and asking her to repeat words after me. We watched countless hours of Baby Einstein flicks, so Grace could get a little more education everyday. I remember going to her monthly doctor's appointments that first year and filling her poor pediatrician with stories of all of Gracie's new words, and eagerly asking him if she was "on track" with her new words. Of course, she always was!

Now, she's speaking in full sentences. Every day it seems like she picks up a new word or phrase and that becomes her latest obsession. It's so wonderful to be able to ask her what she wants for dinner or what she did at day care today, and actually have her answer me. It's a mom's dream come true--my child can finally tell me when something hurts or if she's frightened or hungry or any multitude of things. The guesswork (well, most of it anyway) is taken out of the equation.

Of course, with this newfound treasure comes pitfalls. Grace has also learned to say things like, "Go away!" and "Naughty!" Certainly, in the appropriate situation these words are fitting, but when I go to give Grace a hug or a kiss at the end of a long and stressful day, the last thing I want to hear is, "Go away Mom!" Poor Grandma gets the occasional disappointment of hearing, "No, go away!" when she's trying to help Grace get dressed. Words hurt, don't they? Who knew that along with the excitement and pride I feel, I would also recall with fondness the days when Grace didn't know how to reject me verbally?

Tonight as Grace and I were playing after I got home from work, she gave me a big bear hug for no apparent reason. I closed my eyes and savored the moment and then said, "I love you, Gracie." To my surprise, she shook her little head and said, "I love you, Mama." Maybe I will get used to this whole talking thing after all.