Math vs. Magic

This morning, Grace and I had our very first subtraction lesson. Grace knows that I pack two cookies in her lunch for school, and this morning, she asked if she could have two cookies for breakfast. Knowing that she would be eating breakfast at school in less than 30 minutes and not wanting to condone cookie eating for breakfast, I decided to argue that if she had her cookies right then, she wouldn’t have any left for lunch. Being the clever kid that she is, Grace then asked if she could have just one cookie right now, but the problem was that she thought that if she had one for breakfast, she would still have two left for lunch.

So, I attempted some math with her. I told her that if she has two cookies and she takes one away, she will only have one left. I even used some toys that were on the coffee table to illustrate my point. She thought about this for a moment and told me that I was wrong, and that she WOULD still have two cookies at lunch even if she had one for breakfast. Hmm. I asked her how this could happen, and she looked at me like I had two heads and said, “It’s magic, Mama.”

Can’t argue with that, I guess. At this point, I used my mighty powers of redirection and got her interested in some pop tarts instead.

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So, we are at T minus 4 days until our reception, and the diet has gone just ok. I’ve managed to lose a few pounds over the past couple of weeks, and after discovering some very tasty and satisfying fiber bars at Target that I can snack on during the day (gotta love Target), I’ve been on the straight and narrow this week so far. (The only downside of these bars is that they are SO loaded with fiber that if you eat too many, you end up with some major intestinal problems later in the evening. Trust me…I found this out the hard way.) I’m hoping to lose a couple more pounds before Saturday so I don’t feel like a sausage in my wedding dress. Although, come to think of it, feeling like a sausage would fit in well with the German-style buffet that we’re serving at the reception.

And, I'm considering it a bad thing that I spent most of the afternoon at work today, during down time, munching on chocolate and listening to sappy Chicago songs. The stress must be getting to me...

"Just say you'll love me for the rest of my life..."

Pulled In a Million Directions

My blogging has been suffering as of late, mostly because I have been so busy with a full time job that has suddenly evolved into an almost 55-hour per week job, final preparations for our wedding reception that's coming up in a week (gasp!), and the normal day-to-day duties of motherhood and wifedom (both of which could qualify as full time jobs in and of themselves). I feel as though I am being pulled in a million directions and at the end of the day, there's not much left of me to go around--so much so that a couple of nights ago when I found a spare minute to check my Facebook account, I put my head in my hands and started to cry because I had all of these messages from my friends that I haven't had a chance to answer. So, needless to say, I don't have the abundant time that I once had to be able to sit down and write a decent, well thought out, blog entry. Sorry. I am hoping things calm down a bit once the reception is over and I have a chance to breathe. We'll see.

Anyway, a few random happenings from this week that I found to be noteworthy:

-Today while I was standing in line at my local BP station paying for my gas and cursing Big Oil, a rather attractive man that was behind me in line asked me if I drive the Lexus that was parked outside in the parking lot. I looked at him, bewildered, said, "Um, no, I drive a Saturn," and he smiled and said, "Oh, you look like the Lexus type." What the hell does that mean? Was that a compliment? Was it a come-on (and a rather lame one at that)? Eh, either way, I guess it's all right that I at least look as though I have enough money to be driving a Lexus around. Apparently the gentleman didn't notice that I was wearing a second hand jacket that was stained with something that Grace ate weeks ago or didn't hear me complaining to the cashier about gas prices while digging through my wallet for pennies to make exact change.

-Apparently I have earned the reputation for being a tyrant at home. Last night when I was rushing home from work to pick Grace up and whisk her off to swimming class, I called Aaron and asked him to have Grace fed and ready to go by the time I got home so we could leave right away and make it to swimming in time. When I finally made it home spotted Grace on the couch finishing her supper, she burst into tears for no apparent reason as soon as she saw me. After calming her down and asking her what happened, she blubbered, "Aarie said you were going to be mad at BOTH of us if I didn't finish my supper!!!" Well, I wasn't mad at Grace, that's for sure. At least I can chuckle about it now.

-Looks like I'm going on another business trip in a couple of weeks (this time to Hagerstown, MD), and I'm gonna have to fly. Ugh. I booked my trip today with my boss, who is coming with me, and instead of having my choice and flying on Midwest nonstop from Milwaukee to Baltimore, we're flying Northwest out of Milwaukee with a stop in Detroit. Double ugh. For those of you who don't know, I am an EXTREMELY nervous flyer. The trip is more than two weeks off and I have already launched into panic mode. I'm trying to talk myself down off of the edge by reminding myself about how safe I will be and how quickly the trip will go by, but hearing recent news of airlines cancelling flights due to safety concerns certainly isn't helping matters. I think I will definitely try to take some sort of anti-anxiety medicine when I fly this time--I have resisted it in the past, because I have been traveling with Grace or for other reasons, but I think that this time I'm gonna go for it and see if I'm able to be calmer.

-The big news in Milwaukee is a measles outbreak that has occured among three children that attend the same day care on the south side of town. These children have not received the MMR vaccine or were too young to have been vaccinated. Concern is such that the city of Milwaukee is holding vaccine clinics for people to vaccinate themselves if they haven't already done so. When Grace was younger and we went through her first several series of childhood vaccinations, I was well aware of the claim that vaccinating your child can heighten their risk of autism, and I, like many parents, had my doubts about taking the chance and letting our pediatrician inject her with all of this stuff. I was listening to Larry King Live last week, and Jenny McCarthy was on the program, talking about her autistic son and arguing that his vaccinations were part of the reason that his autism emerged. She said something that stuck with me. She said that parents would much rather have their children contract measles than live with autism. I don't know. Obviously, no parent would want their child to have either affliction, but would I ever let the fear of the possibility of having an autistic child trump the idea that I should safeguard my child against potentially deadly diseases? I wonder if the parents of these three Milwaukee children who now have the measles wish they had decided to vaccinate their children. I know that I am breathing a sigh of relief knowing Grace has been vaccinated.

-Where in the hell is Spring? Seriously. I am so ready.

Sweet Home Wisconsin

Well, I am back home from my trip to Tennessee, and I gotta say, it's great to be back. It was surprising how much I missed Grace and Aaron--sure, I knew I would miss them, but I didn't know that I would MISS them. By the time I got home really late on Wednesday night (actually, early Thursday morning), all I could think of was snuggling up with a sleeping Aaron and surprising Grace when she woke up in the morning. Good stuff. And, as soon as Grace woke up in the morning and noticed that I was home, she jumped out of bed and ran over and gave me a bear hug. This is the child that normally rouses in the morning at a snail's pace and is grumpy for a good half hour or so after waking up. I guess she missed me, too.

One thing I learned on the trip: I need to get over my fear of flying. I decided to drive to Tennessee when I found out that it really wasn't THAT far and justified it by telling myself that road trips are totally cool and that this would be a fun adventure for me. Well, it was really THAT far and road trips are only fun when you can share them with someone (and, when you can share the driving with someone). Next time I have to go on a business trip (which will be later this month), I'll take some Valium, suck it up, and fly.

In other news, Grace has officially graduated from her parent and child swimming class and last night, she started a child-only class. She wasn't overly receptive to the idea of being in the pool without me, so to help her get used to it a bit, I took her to the pool about a half hour before her class started and told her I could stay in the pool with her for a while. When it was time for her class, I got out of the pool and Grace started looking a little sheepish, sucking on her fingers and slouching down (Grace's non verbal ways of saying "I'm scared"). I sat close to the pool with her until her teacher took over, and soon, she was splashing around with the other kids, laughing and having a grand ol' time. She did well in class, except when it came to bobbing in the water. The kid doesn't like getting her face wet, and certainly that will become an issue when she really starts learning to swim. And, she didn't do a great job of keeping one hand on the pool wall while the teacher was working individually with other kids. (The teacher kept yelling at the kids to stay at the wall and not splash each other. That killed me...these are preschoolers. Yeah, right lady.) But, all and all, I think she'll do just fine in this class.

Hey Y'all

So, I know I have neglected my blog for the past few days, but that's only because I'm kickin' it southern style in Tennessee.

Ok, that sounds a lot more fun and interesting than what is actually going on. Actually, I am in Johnson City, TN on a business trip. I drove from Milwaukee down to Tennessee, and here are some observations from my trip:

-I am not nearly as young and nimble as I used to be and therefore road trips are no longer as fun as they used to be. When I arrived at my destination last night after a 12-hour drive (stupid Chicago traffic), my back was aching, my butt was hurting, my legs were cramping, and I was just about in tears.

-On the way through Gary, IN, I noted a sign on the side of the road that said, "HELL IS REAL." Yes it is, and it's located in Gary, IN. Sorry, folks, if any of you live there or are from there or have family there. I can't think of a place that is more dreary and reminisent of the "gray ash heaps" that F. Scott Fitzgerald talks about in The Great Gatsby. Again, sorry--I only saw the part of the city that's right around the interstate, but it was pretty sad.

-Even though I have an entire king sized bed to myself in my palacial hotel room, I still sleep on the same side of the bed that I do when at home in my queen sized bed with my hubby. I didn't venture over to the other side of the bed at all last night.

-Room service rocks. So does expensing your employer for your room service usage.

-Even though I am enjoying a leisurely breakfast, savoring a good cup of coffee, and watching CNN uninterrupted, I would much rather be at home rushing through my breakfast, taking my coffee to go, and watching "Pee Wee's Playhouse".

Dieting Doldrums

I’m on a diet again. Our wedding reception is coming up in less than four weeks, and Sunday after our Easter lunch, I tried on my wedding dress to see how it fit after last putting it on almost six months ago. Not sure why I chose to stuff myself into the dress after eating a large meal which included ham, mashed potatoes, and other carbohydrate- and fat-loaded dishes…I guess I’m glutton for punishment. Suffice it to say, we barely managed to get the dress zipped and when we did, I was SPILLING out of it. Boob fat and back fat galore, I tell ya. And, I attempted to sit down while wearing the dress and was unable to do so without feeling as though my internal organs were screaming, “STOP! YOU’RE KILLING US!” And, the really bad thing was that I was wearing all of my fat-holding-in and shaping underthings and I was STILL so uncomfortable.

So, I started the diet on Monday, and already I am finding it difficult to stay disciplined enough to lose any weight. I’ve been thinking about why it is so hard to diet and lose weight right now, and here is my list of (poor) excuses:

-Christ has risen from the dead. Seriously, who paired Easter with jelly beans, chocolate, and huge carb-filled meals? I’m sure the tradition of giving candy and feasting on Easter got started a hundred years ago by some tribe somewhere, but I’m not interested enough to research it. What I do know is that even though I shouldn’t be, I have been sitting on my couch every night this week nibbling on the solid white chocolate sheep that Aaron gave me for Easter, simply because it’s there and it’s tasty. Let’s not even talk about sneaking jelly beans and mini Cadbury eggs.

-I came off birth control last month, and as a result, my hormones are totally out of control. I’m pimply, cranky, bloated, and ravenously hungry. It’s pretty difficult for me to choose to eat something like a salad or pretzels when I really am craving pizza or cheese puffs.

-Very important business trip coming up in five days. I am leaving for a business trip on Monday and I am told that the people that I will be meeting with in Tennessee are big eaters and big drinkers. Oh good. Just what I need!

-Exposure to really stupid people makes me cranky and thus (since I am an emotional eater), hungry. I spend a good portion of my work day looking at resumes and interviewing people, and it is shocking to me how many people either don’t know or don’t care about how they present themselves to prospective employers. Every time I come across someone emailing me a resume from an email address like xxxbigassmama6969@....com or I contact a candidate and am confronted with a vulgar voicemail greeting like, “Wazz up playas? This is (name). Leave me your number and I’ll think about calling y’all mo-fo’s back. Holla,” or interview someone and listen to them call their former boss a prick, it makes me sad about the state of things. Seriously people—you’re applying for a job. At least attempt some professionalism.

-The dose of my thyroid medication has been lowered. A few years ago, I had some thyroid problems and as a result, I was placed on a thyroid hormone replacement medication because my thyroid had completely crapped out. One good side effect of the medication is that losing weight has been a little easier for me. In fact, over the last year or so, I have been able to eat pretty much as I pleased and not gain weight. Actually, I kept losing weight. Well, late last year, I started experiencing chest pain and heart palpitations, and one of the reasons why was because the dose of my thyroid medicine was too high (this was why I kept losing weight without any effort). So, my doctor said, “Party’s over, sister,” lowered my dosage of medication, and I packed on five pounds almost instantly. And now, it’s quite difficult to lose weight, even if I do eat responsibly. I used to think people that used thyroid problems as an excuse for gaining weight were crazy. Now I believe them, and I am being punished for thinking otherwise.

-I am a wuss and succumb to peer pressure easily. Here at work, most of my colleagues love to eat as much as I do, so when someone suggests ordering lunch from Noodles and Company or Panera, it’s hard for me to say no and eat my Smart Ones frozen dinner whilst smelling other peoples’ tasty lunches. I’m like Ado Annie from “Oklahoma”. I’m just a girl who can’t say no.

-I have a general aversion to diets and feeling hungry in general. ‘Nuff said.

After saying all of this, I want to make it clear that I am still going to TRY MY HARDEST to lose some weight before our reception (my goal is five to ten pounds). I’m starting a walking regimen with a lovely coworker who is also trying to lose weight, and I hope that will help. I do want to look as good in my wedding dress on our reception day as I did on our wedding day. I want to be able to sit down during the reception and not hear the seams on the dress popping. I want to boogie till midnight and not worry about what may be popping out the side of my dress. So, dear readers, please send good thoughts my way. Lord knows I could use them!

Hottie Hubby and The Spring Psych-Out

So, my hubby is talking on the phone right now to one of this co-workers as he is doing some after hours work at home, and I am listening to him talk about portals and secure sites and all kinds of other computer stuff that is way over my head. Is it odd that I find him incredibly sexy right now? Can't wait till he's done with work...I've always been a sucker for the nerdy dudes.

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Today is the first day of Spring, and appropriately, today is also the first day this year that I have woken up and heard birds chirping outside our bedroom window. It was a nice thing to hear, especially since the days have been warmer lately and thoughts of warm, sunny days and green grass are on the brain. Then, I remembered that we are supposed to get five to ten inches of snow tomorrow, and I felt sorry for those birds. They should know better than to start chirping any sooner than, like, the middle of April, at least here in Wisconsin.

Breaking Tradition

Don’t get me wrong…I love a huge gathering with extended family on a holiday as much as the next person, but for Easter this year, I lobbied hard to have a small, quiet get-together at our house. This was an uncharacteristic move for me; I love getting together with all of my aunts and uncles and cousins (as well as all of my husband’s family) during a holiday. Maybe I had a change of heart on this particular holiday because Grace has gotten sick on every Easter since she has been alive (on her first and second Easters she came down with nasty cases of rotavirus and last Easter she came down with a bad cold) and subconsciously I am hoping that maybe by changing things up this year and skipping the large family gatherings, we can keep her healthy. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I feel like we spent Christmas rushing around the state like mad people, trying to cram in as much time with our respective families as we were able to while wishing we could just relax and enjoy the season. Perhaps it’s because now that I have a family of my own, I want to make our own traditions every now and then instead of participating in other peoples’ traditions. Whatever the reason, the thought of traveling (and we do have to travel, since we live in a different part of the state than our families) to visit our extended families on Easter weekend really didn’t appeal to me. In fact, I was actually dreading all of the rushing around and began daydreaming about what it would be like to spend Easter at home—we could have an Easter egg hunt with Grace, attend a church service or mass of our choosing, and then go home and have a nice, leisurely meal in our jammies if we wanted to. We could invite our immediate families down to celebrate with us if they wanted to, but if they had other plans, that would be ok, too.

I knew I would get a little bit of resistance from the hubby on this new idea, because he loves spending time with family as much as I do (and, one of the reasons I love him as much as I do is because he places such a high value on family) and I knew that his extended family was planning a large gathering on Easter Sunday that he would want to attend. So, when I introduced my idea of staying home on Easter, I was met with a little resistance, but after I explained my reasoning and repeated the phrase, “Just one holiday per year” several times, Aaron agreed to the thought as long as the three of us got to spend the morning alone and save our feast with the immediate families for the afternoon. No problem, says I.

So, this Easter, we’re breaking tradition and staying home and even though we are going to be preparing a meal for my parents and sister and brother-in-law (Aaron’s immediate family is attending the larger gathering), I am finding that I feel much less stressed out than I would be feeling if we were going to be going elsewhere for the holiday. And, I am very much looking forward to starting some new traditions with Aaron and Grace. Hopefully our new traditions won’t include any nasty viruses.

Back From Vacation

Well, we are back home from our vacation in Wisconsin Dells (with a stop to see my in-laws this weekend), and instead of giving you a written report of our trip, I thought some pictures would tell the story and might be a little more entertaining to look at.

We decided we needed a vacation since we were feeling like this most of the time:

So, we went to the Kalahari Resort in Wisconsin Dells, and stayed in a lovely, spacious room.

We slid down some HUGE waterslides (after some gentle coaxing),

did some kneeboarding in the Flowrider pool,

ate lots and lots of great pizza and other tasty treats,

smiled lots and lots because we were having such fun,

started to feel a little tired towards the end of the day,

and finally. went back to our cozy room to snooze till our heart's content.


The trip had a somewhat rocky start--the night before we left, Aaron had a fever of 102.8 and felt really crappy. When he still had a fever the next day, he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with the flu and I worried that he would be bed-ridden for the whole trip. But, after some much-needed rest, he was ready to go on day two of the trip. Needless to say, Grace and I were glad he was healthy again, and we had a blast!! All in all, we had a fantastic time, and we're looking forward to making this a yearly trip. It was a great way to spend a few days--Kalahari had tons of really fun, family-oriented stuff to offer, and the winter specials that the resort offers made the trip affordable (we were able to snag all kinds of coupons for free food and reduced rates on resort attractions). The indoor waterpark had plenty to offer for little ones and adults alike, and with the numerous restaurants and amenities on site, there really was no reason to leave the resort at all! I'd highly recommend the resort for a family vacation or even as a get-away for couples who love spending lots of time at the pool.

Goin' on Vacation

A few months back, I wrote a post about the get-away that Aaron, Grace, and I were going to be taking as part of the celebration of my momentous 30th birthday (turns out, actually, that my 30th birthday kinda just felt like another day). We had planned on taking a road trip to Green Valley, Arizona to visit my grandparents, who (wisely) spend their winters there. The idea was to drive cross country in the spirit of adventure and with the goal of introducing Grace to parts of the country that she has never seen. I am a huge fan of road trips and thought this would be a great way to spend some good quality time with my family.

Reason soon set in, though, and once Aaron and I sat down and calculated the cost of gas plus at least four nights in hotels (two nights on the way there and two on the way home) plus meals and other necessities, we would have spent about the same amount of money if we flew there. And, there was the nagging doubt in the back of my mind that spending 60 hours in the car with a three-year-old might not be a barrel of laughs. Initially, the thing that appealed most to me about a road trip to Arizona, aside from seeing my beloved grandparents who I miss terribly, was the adventure it would bring, and I was pretty certain that it would be a really cool adventure...or, it could turn out to be a royal pain in the ass. Finding out that my grandparents are coming home for our wedding reception in a month pretty much sealed the deal for me...we would postpone our Arizona trip until next year, when Gracie is a little older.

So, the question became, "What the heck are we going to do?" Aaron and I had initially floated the idea of going to Vegas, but we wouldn't be able to bring Grace along on a Vegas trip and frankly, I wanted her to be a part of things. (We'll get our child-free vacation in June when we go to Bonnaroo.) We brainstormed and came up with a short list of destinations that are relatively close to home, and we decided on taking a trip to Wisconsin Dells, where we will be staying at the Kalahari Resort and Waterpark. Since Grace is no longer terrified of the water--in fact, she loves being in the water so much that she eagerly looks forward to swim class each week--we decided that we're ready for the behemoth indoor waterpark experience. And, the fact that there are tons of activities to do at the Kalahari apart from the waterpark, including pottery classes for kids and massages for moms (ok, and for stepdads, too), was very attractive to us. Plus, we'll be in Wisconsin Dells, so even if we do get bored for some reason at the resort, there are tons of other things to do.

So, we leave tomorrow and we're totally stoked. A full report and pictures will be coming after we get home!!

Don't Mess With the Poppins -and- Defeating Lulu

A couple weekends ago, when Grace was spending some quality time with my parents, she was introduced to one of my all-time favorite movies: "Mary Poppins". She came home talking about the movie with the "pahck" (this totally cracks me up--she picked up on how the word "park" is pronounced in the movie, complete with the Cockney accent, and now this is her new funny) and the amazing merry-go-round horses that come off of the carousel and go galloping in the countryside. She loved the movie and couldn't wait to tell me all about it.

This was so exciting to me. "Mary Poppins" was one of my favorite movies as a child (and even as an adult), so knowing that Grace found it entertaining as well made me very happy. So naturally, I was really looking forward to the time when Grace and I could sit down together and watch it and talk about how cool everything was, and how Mama secretly has always wanted to be Mary Poppins herself. The only bad thing about all of this was that the only version of "Mary Poppins" that owned by my family is a grainy, VHS version that my parents taped when we had a free week of the Disney Channel like 20 years ago. Aside from being crappy in quality, our family's version of "Mary Poppins" also contains the annoying "To subscribe, please call 1-800-......." flashing across the bottom of the screen every few minutes.

So Aaron, being the thoughtful guy that he is, picked up a brand spanking new version of "Mary Poppins" at Best Buy a few days ago, and it has been playing nearly non-stop in our home since then. I have been able to finally watch one of my favorite flicks with my kid, and the whole experience has been totally wonderful.

Except for one glitch...tonight, while we were watching one of my favorite parts of the movie (the part where Mary and Bert and the children jump into the chalk drawing of the English countryside) I made the fatal error of singing along with "Jolly Holiday with Mary". Whoa. Big mistake. Grace looked at me with a face full of disgust and horror and said, "You don't sing with Mary Poppins, Mama. Now we have to start the song over. You don't sing again." And, she made me start the scene over again and promise her that I would NOT under any circumstances sing along with this song ever, ever again. I actually laughed out loud at how mad she got, and she immediately silenced me by saying with a furrowed brow, "I am not laughing."

Ok. Duly noted. Don't mess with the Poppins, especially if you want to finish the movie in under three hours.

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Tonight, instead of following our normal Friday night ritual of dragging an already-exhausted and cranky Grace out to dinner and inevitably ending the evening with at least one of us in frustrated tears, we decided to stay home and attempt to duplicate one of my favorite restaurant meals--chipotle chicken pitas with kettle chips and blue cheese sauce from Cafe Lulu. Mmmmmmmmmm. Aaron bought all of the ingredients on his way home from work tonight, and we eagerly set out to try and make the meal ourselves.

And we TOTALLY succeeded. Our kettle chips were way better than Lulu's...sometimes Lulu's chips have a slightly burned flavor to them, but ours, with Aaron gingerly tending to them as they bubbled along in the canola oil, turned out perfectly. And my version of the black bean salsa that is used to make the chipotle chicken pita was spot on, only missing a dash of lime juice and perhaps tasting a tad bit too salty.

All in all, it was a great meal, and the best part of it was that we enjoyed it in the comforts of our own dining room. And instead of ending the night wishing that we hadn't gone out at all, I am enjoying listening to Aaron and Grace putting together a puzzle and making up a song that goes, "We don't need that piece, UH!" I love staying home. I think we'll make it a Friday night tradition.

Eyebrows

Ok, I'm about to reveal one of my deepest, darkest secrets, so hold on to yer butts...my eyebrows are naturally almost totally white, so for most of my adult life, I have been shading them in with a brow pencil.

I feel so much better now.

So, tonight I went to this new hair salon in Brookfield to have my hair colored, and my stylist asked me, "Have you ever considered having your brows tinted?" Honestly, I have considered that at least once a day for the past several years, usually when I am standing in the mirror in the morning painstakingly trying to ensure that my penciling-in job is even and looks relatively natural. And, whenever I have my hair colored I always worry that my brows will be way too light.

All of you with nice, normal, dark eyebrows never knew you had it so good.

So, I said to my stylist, "What the hell? Go for it." And she did. And for the first time in my 30 years on this planet, I can actually distinguish my eyebrows from the rest of my face.

Here is what the top part of my face looks like with actual eyebrows.


Yeah, pretty shocking. Aaron didn't know I was having this done, so when I got home tonight, HIS eyebrows shot up in surprise and he said, "Wow. Your whole face looks different." And then he went out for a beer. I hope the two instances are not related.

I'm In Town Playing the Dolphins, You Dumbass

Oh, Brett, say it ain't so!

Well, there goes my whole motivation for watching football. Guess I'll have to go back to shopping and napping on Sunday afternoons in the fall. Sadly, my favorite quarterback and lifetime member of my Top Five Hotties list is retiring from the Packers. I was one of those people that wagered that he would be back for another season, especially after his stellar showing last season. But, sounds like Brett is just pooped and is going to enjoy some well-deserved time off.

Thanks for the great memories, Brett, and for the hilarious performance in "There's Something About Mary." I'll always love you. Sniff, sniff.

30

And so, I enter the fourth decade of my life…

Last weekend, Aaron and I were out on a date and at one very honest moment (read: I had just finished a Flirtini) during dinner, I looked at Aaron and asked, “Do you ever wonder what happened to you?” I had been wondering lately, especially as I approach my thirtieth birthday, what happened to the fun loving, free, crazy girl I used to be. I was the girl that didn’t think twice about going out on a Wednesday night. The girl who would pick up and go at a moment’s notice. The girl who didn’t obsess about things like bills and the cleanliness of my living space and making dentist appointments and laundry. The girl that slept till 11:00am on the weekends and stayed up all night.

What happened to me? As I talk to my single and childless friends about their lives and listen to their stories about all of their adventures, I can’t help but think about my social life, especially since a “big night” for me includes not falling asleep before 10:00pm and actually making it through an entire two-hour movie. Long gone are the days of dancing till 2:00am and traveling whenever I wanted to. Now, my days are mostly filled with work and parenting and trying to maintain my sanity.

Mine is a common tale. We go through our wild and crazy years in our teens and 20’s, and then one day, we become an adult. I’m not saying that becoming an adult automatically means that the fun is over…I guess I’m just realizing that it’s a different kind of fun. One night last week, I came home from work to find Aaron and Grace playing with puzzles in the living room and when I walked in, they invited me to join them. At that moment, there was not a single place on earth where I would have rather been. Tuesday night swimming classes with Gracie are the one of the highlights of my week, because I get to spend time with my daughter doing something she really enjoys. And, some of the most romantic moments in my house are when I watch Aaron comfort or reassure Grace, knowing in my heart that Grace will remember those feelings and will be able to depend on him.

So, since my conversation with Aaron last weekend, I have done some serious thinking and I have come to the conclusion that this IS me now. My life revolves around not myself and my whims, but around my family. My priorities have changed. I have grown up. I am comfortable in my skin. And, the more I think about it, I don’t miss the girl I used to be at all. Why would I want to go back to the insecurity of dating, the uncertainty of the first couple years out of college, and living in crappy apartments because it was all I could afford?

Yes, life is hard sometimes. Along with the happiness of parenting comes the difficulty of raising a child and wanting to do a REALLY GOOD JOB as a parent. Marriage, although blissful and romantic much of the time, is pretty damn hard sometimes. But, I have to say that I am really, really , insanely happy. I wouldn’t trade who I am now for anything, even on those days when I am dog tired and fed up with just about everything.

Hooray for turning 30! Life is very, very good.

Happy Dance!!!

When I went to look at today's mail, I noticed a letter addressed to the parents of Grace from Milwaukee Public Schools...GASP!!...Grace's enrollment information for K4 next year.

I took a deep breath, said a little prayer, and opened the letter...

She got into Tippecanoe! I am so excited!! I had posted an entry in January about some school tours that we went on to check out our neighborhood schools, and in that entry, I had concluded that I would have been happy with Grace going to either Tippecanoe or Burdick Elementary. Since then, I have done some extensive research into test scores and things like that and out of the two schools, Tippecanoe by far has better scores and overall ratings than Burdick. And, I also found out that since Tippecanoe is a specialty school, if a child is not enrolled there by first grade, they can't be enrolled there after that at all. Also, every time we pass Tippecanoe, Grace says, "That's going to be my new school!" so I wasn't looking forward to having to tell her otherwise. So, recently I have been really, really hoping that Grace would be enrolled at Tippecanoe. Oh, I am so excited. It also helps that I can see the school out of our living room window, so we won't have to worry about transportation.

Oh happy, happy day.

Yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnn

Tonight, Grace, Aaron, and I were doing some shopping at our favorite store in the world, Target, when Grace made fun of me for the first time ever. Here's how it went down:

Me: (after noting that Grace had not one but two new holes in her relatively new pair of jeans and thinking to myself that her day care teachers must agree that I am the world's worst mother for sending her child to school with torn pants [I swear there were no holes in her jeans this morning when I dropped her off]) Let's find some iron-on patches. I think they might be (biiiiiiiiiig yawn) over there.

Grace: (mocking my biiiiiiiiiiig yawn) Over there?

Me: Are you making fun of me?

Grace: (Giggling at her funny) Yep.

Geez. She's not even four and she's making fun of her mom.

Don't know why I have been so tired lately. Sure, it could have something to do with the fact that I have been going to bed later than usual because Aaron and I have been up after Grace goes to bed working on our reception invitations. Could be because I have been working like a dog trying to keep up with house work now that I am working full time again. Could also be because the sickness that seems to be plaguing the rest of the nation has descended on our house and has made its way through Aaron and Grace, setting its sights on me. Either way, I'm frigging beat and to top it off (or because of it), I've been totally spacing out today. Mama needs a good nap or a morning to sleep in.

Winter, Schminter

I took a peek at weather.com while I was at work today because I had heard that we are in store for another bout of snow, and I found this:

A WINTER STORM WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN HEAVY SNOW...AND/OR SLEET... AND/OR FREEZING RAIN MAY COMBINE WITH STRONG WINDS TO CAUSE MAJOR IMPACTS TO COMMERCE AND SOCIETY. CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS FOR UPDATES AND POSSIBLE WARNINGS.

This is Sunday’s forecast…yet another six inches of snow are predicted, but at this point, after getting roughly 8000 feet of snow this winter, does it really matter? What made me chuckle was “…to cause major impacts to commerce and society.” Ah yes, the writer of this warning clearly must have been sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic with me earlier this week during the most recent snowstorm, when my thirty minute commute took me an hour and a half. The only saving grace about this upcoming snowstorm is that it’s predicted to hit on Sunday, so at least it won’t affect rush hour traffic…at least it won’t if all of the roads are plowed by Monday morning. I think I’m going to just try to ignore winter from now on. Maybe it will go away.

Parent/Teacher Conferences

Last night, Aaron and I attended our very first parent/teacher conference for Gracie. When we were first invited to sign up for parent/teacher conferences, I wondered what to expect…I mean, she’s three years old, so I wasn’t sure how much information the teacher would have for us regarding academics and things like that. And, I drop Grace off at day care every morning and Aaron picks her up each night, so I would have thought that if there was a serious problem with the little one, we would have been informed by now. But, I signed up anyway, just in case Grace’s teacher had something new to tell us and ask her if she had some suggestions on how to get her ready for K4.

Turns out, I am glad that we decided to go. Granted, there weren’t any huge surprises, but it was nice to hear how Grace has been doing during the long days at day care and how she is interacting with other children and her teachers.

Overall, Gracie is right about where she should be at her age. Academically, she recognizes all of the letters and can write a few, can draw shapes, is able to at least trace all the letters of her name, and knows her numbers beyond 20 and can write a few of those as well. She can draw pictures on demand—for example, her teacher asked her to draw a person, which she was able to do and she even drew a person in a house and drew snow falling outside the house. She can tell a story from her imagination (she has the most amazing imagination) and remembers things well. The only thing that was on the teacher’s list that she was unable to do was to cut out a large circle, but my mom loves telling the story of my kindergarten screening when I was unable to cut a straight line but entertained the teacher with a long, rambling story that I made up on the spot, so Gracie comes by it naturally.

Socially, it seems that Grace is doing well, too, and honestly, this was the most important thing to me. After leaving her day care in Oshkosh where she cried daily when I dropped her off, I was concerned about how she would adjust long-term to a new center. But, it seems that she is doing very well—she joins in quickly with the other children during play time and is respectful of (although a little shy with) her teachers. She loves creative play time with the other kids and she has a handful of really close friends. (Sadly, I learned last night that her very best friend, who she talks about incessantly at home, is moving away in two weeks! My heart is breaking!!) She generally transitions well from one activity to another and isn’t having any trouble with nap time or lunch time. The only thing she has trouble with sometimes is when her teacher redirects her to another activity if she gets upset about something or is doing something she shouldn’t be doing. This is not a shocker to me, as she can get pretty stubborn at home, too, if she’s upset or in trouble. She definitely knows what she does and does not want to do.

I also found out that she is able to put her jacket, snow pants, boots, and other winter paraphernalia on by herself, which came as a surprise as she usually wants us to help her with it at home. Maybe she was having us help her at home because we always offer…perhaps it’s time to just let her do it herself. Also, when we asked if there is anything we can do to prepare Grace for K4, her teacher just suggested maybe working with her on writing her name and learning to recognize some basic words. Coming up at school, the kids are going to be learning lots of fun stuff, like their home addresses and how to write their last names. Important stuff!!

So, I wasn’t terribly surprised by our findings at the conference. I know that Gracie is learning more about her world every day and is discovering all kinds of new things. I also know that she is one heck of a kid and I couldn’t help but beam when her teacher told me what a great job she is doing. That feeling alone was enough to make the whole conference worth it.

Oh, and Grace is madly in love with Valentine's Day. Right now she has all of her cards and treats from all of her school friends spread out over our coffee table, admiring her treasures. I'm wondering which candy I'm gonna sneak in the name of preserving my child's teeth.

Circle of Life

This weekend Aaron, Grace, and I spent time up at my family's cottage in northern Wisconsin. It has become sort of a tradition over the past few years--my parents, my sister and her husband, and Aaron, Grace, and I choose a weekend in the middle of winter to head up north to relax and just get away from everything. We play board games and card games, walk out onto the frozen lake, eat lots of great food, drink wine, and just generally enjoy each others' company. It's something I sincerely look forward to every year.

Our family's cottage is uninhabited in the winter, but in the summer my grandparents, who spend winters in Arizona, live at the cottage. Because of this, quite a few of my grandparents' belongings remain at the cottage year-round. Whenever we head up north in the winter, I find myself missing my grandparents immensely as I look at all of their stuff and imagine what it would be like to have them there with us. But then again, there's something comforting in seeing my daughter playing with the same toys and reading the same books that I read at my grandparents' farm as a child. Which brings me to my point...

I spent part of yesterday looking at my grandma's old photo albums. In my searching, I found pictures from my parents' wedding and from my infancy. As I looked through the pictures, I was able to remember parts of my childhood that were all but forgotten and I was able to see my parents and grandparents as I remember them from my youth. I let myself remember what it was like to be a kid, running in the fields at my grandparents' farm, sitting under the willow tree in their front yard, and playing with my cousins. I laughed at my dad's 1978 hairdo, shook my head at my huge bangs and power cuffed jeans from my middle school days, and marveled at how YOUNG my grandma looked in some of the pictures. I also came across some photos of my great grandma, of whom I only have a few scattered memories.

Something dawned on me as I closed the photo albums and moved on with my day. It's amazing how life is...seeing photos of my mom holding me as a baby, photos of my grandparents walking my mom down the aisle on her wedding day, photos of my parents as newlyweds...it reminded me of how life changes and evolves. Now I am the mom, my mom is the grandma, my grandma is the great grandma, and Grace is the little girl I see in the pictures. Part of it makes me sad, in a way, because as a child it seemed almost unthinkable that the time would ever come when I would have my own child, yet here I am. I couldn't fathom my mom as a grandma, let alone my grandma as a great grandma. It takes my breath away to think of how quickly time passes. But, part of me is comforted by knowing that the circle will continue, and we will always have these rich family memories to reflect on with fondness and nostalgia.

Another Snow Day

Well, it's the end of the world here in Milwaukee. Or, at least it would seem that way, since everything in the city is closed due to the forecasted 18 inches of snow that we are supposed to be getting today. Milwaukee Public Schools are closed, and thus, so is Grace's day care. My new employer emailed all of us yesterday afternoon and told us that if we felt it was too dangerous to come into work today, we could stay at home and work. And, Aaron's employer told their employees to either brave the elements and drive to work or take a PTO day.

So, the three of us are all snuggled up at home today, watching the snow fall. I decided, after much deliberation, that I didn't want to make the 30 mile trek into work this morning and risk my life, so I stayed home and am working from here. Aaron, who is feeling under the weather anyway, took the day off and is busy entertaining Grace (and right now "entertaining" means the two of them cozy on the couch drinking chocolate milk and watching Sesame Street).

It's actually kind of nice for all of us to be home together in the middle of the week. I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about any of us traveling around the city in this awful weather. And, it's wonderful to be able to see Grace's smiling face in the middle of the day.

Often I wonder to myself why I decided to move back to Wisconsin after living in San Antonio. The winters here are terrible, and on days like these, I daydream about what it would be like to live in a place that never had snow or freezing cold days. Today, though, I am grateful for the snow and for the fact that we are stranded at home. I love having this extra time with my family.

Thought For Today

I could never, ever be a smoker. After watching my coworkers sneak outside into the frigid winter air during a break to catch a few puffs, I realize what a total wuss I am. I could never force myself to stand outside, wrapped from head to toe in jackets and scarves and mittens and boots, for five minutes when it's raining ice just to get a fix. Or maybe I just don't understand...

Either way, pretty sure I'm a non-smoker for life.

New Job

Started my new recruiting job yesterday, and at first blush, it seems like this is gonna be something I will like. Everyone that I have met so far has been super nice and welcoming, and my new boss (who I think is younger than me--ugh) is quite possibly the most laid back and mellow person I have met. (I'm reserving final judgment on that one for a bit, though...maybe I am reading her wrong. Time will tell.) The job itself seems challenging yet relatively low-stress and the environment is casual and open. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is a place where I can find my niche and hopefully stay for a long time...

The best part of the past two days was when a call came into the department today from a Spanish speaker. The girl who was training me remembered that I am bilingual and put me on the line with the man, and as soon as I started my conversation with him in Spanish, it was clear that others around me were impressed. Soon, I had an audience and when I hung up the phone, my boss came up to me and said, "I totally love you," while others around were saying things like, "Wow!" and, "That's awesome!" Oh yeah, I'm a rock star.

The only bad thing about the job is where the office is located, but we are moving to a different building in a week and that will hack at least fifteen minutes off my commute, which will be very nice. It's been a challenge the past couple of mornings getting Grace up and ready to go ten minutes earlier than she's used to. And, an hour commute home tonight (when it should have taken me a half hour) in the driving snow was no fun, either. But, I can live with it for another week.

Our Lovely Weekend

Here are some photos from our mini-vacation that took place this past weekend!

The Wollersheim Winery, which was holding a Port Wine Celebration when we visited. We drank lots of wine.


Aaron and I, at the Wollersheim, after sampling several varieties of wine and deciding to purchase a case of the stuff:


Our suite at the bed and breakfast:


The bed and breakfast where we stayed, the Victorian Treasure, has three houses. This is the main house, which was built in the 1800's and was the home of a prominent Wisconsin politician. The house still contains the original woodwork and the fireplace in the main sitting room features the same tile that the lady of the house ordered from Italy over a hundred years ago. Simply lovely.


Sunday night, after returning to Milwaukee, we went to see one of my favorite bands, the Editors, in concert at the Pabst Theater. Since cameras weren't allowed, this is the only picture I managed to take with my phone:


The concert was awesome, and the Editors rocked my shizzy.

All in all, Aaron and I had a wonderful weekend. Of course, I missed Grace and was so happy to see her when we got home, but a little "couple time" is always very nice.

Reviewing "Juno"

Sorry...that title makes it seem like I actually know something about reviewing movies. I really don't, but here are my two cents regarding "Juno" anyway.

First off, the soundtrack was FANTASTIC. As soon as I have some extra cash, I'm gonna run out and buy it. I loved the music from the opening montage to the final credits. It definitely added something special to the movie.

I thought the movie itself was really, really well done. At first, I had a hard time with the dialogue, just because I can't think of a single teenager that I know that speaks as eloquently as Juno did in the movie (and I was a high school Spanish teacher for a couple of years, so I know how teenagers converse). But, as the movie went on and as I have thought about it over the past day or so, I realized that this was actually one of the things that made her character seem realistic. Juno is not your ordinary teenage girl; she's intelligent, thoughtful, and so cool, so I felt like the dialogue suited her.

I also thought the movie was HEARTBREAKING. Sure, it was funny and very witty. In fact, I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud so many times during a movie. However, there were a couple of parts in the movie where I actually had to bite the inside of my lower lip to keep myself from sobbing out loud. There is one part in which Jennifer Garner's character (Vanessa) runs into Juno at the mall and Juno invites her to touch her belly to feel the baby kick. Vanessa feels in vain for a few minutes and decides, disappointed, that the baby isn't going to respond to her, but then it happens...she feels the kick, and kneels down to talk to the baby in Juno's belly. As others in the theater snickered during this scene, I wept. No one but a mother knows the true desperation of wanting to feel your child respond to you, and no one but a mother knows the beauty of feeling that actually happen.

Ok, if you didn't see the movie and/or haven't heard what happens at the end, you might not want to read on. I think most people by now have heard how things end up, though.

The final part of the movie was probably the most heartbreaking for me. From the time Juno decided to give her baby up for adoption, it seemed as though she didn't have a single doubt in her mind. I just couldn't fathom this, but then again, I'm not a teenager who is in no way ready to raise a child and who wants to help someone who can't have a child of their own. In a way, what Juno did for Vanessa was beautiful and selfless. But, after having a child myself and knowing how the bond between mother and child forms so quickly and so permanently, I just couldn't imagine saying goodbye to my baby. My heart just tore in two as the final scenes of the movie played out, with Juno leaving the hospital without her baby and going on back to her old life, seemingly as if nothing had happened. As the other movie goers filed out of the theater, chatting about how funny the movie was, I sat in my seat, trying to pull myself together. Even thinking about the movie, two days later, I still find myself welling up.

Do I think Juno made the right decision? I'm not sure. Certainly, she did an admirable thing by giving her child to someone who really wanted one and was not able to have one on her own. But, if I let my imagination wander for a moment, I wonder if in fifteen years Juno would wish she hadn't given up her baby. It's hard to say.

Needless to say, I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone, even dudes, because my hubby liked it very much as well (although probably for different reasons than I did). It's complex, well-written, and thought-provoking. And, as I said, it has a kick-ass soundtrack.

Good Stuff

Even though it's so cold outside today that the snot inside my nose immediately freezes upon hitting the frigid air and I have taken to laying my jacket, stocking cap, and scarf in the sun for a while so they can warm up before I put them on, I have some warm feelings going on inside. Good stuff is afoot...

Good Thing the First: Had a job interview today. Actually, it was my second interview with this company (had a phone interview earlier this week), and I think it went really well. The company I interviewed with is an HR outsourcing company, and I interviewed for a recruiting position. Money seems good, people seem nice, and it would be a steady, reliable paycheck, which is extra good, since I am sitting here once again today without a single interpreting assignment.

Good Thing the Second: This weekend, the hubby and I are treating ourselves to a mini-romantic getaway at a bed and breakfast near Madison and damn, a whirlpool suite and breakfast in bed sounds like just what the doctor ordered. My family pitched in and bought Aaron and I a gift card for this bed and breakfast as a wedding gift, so this weekend we're gonna use it. And, while in the Madison area, we're planning to take a tour of the Wollersheim Winery and certainly pick up a few bottles of wine as souvenirs.

Good Thing the Third: One of Aaron's Christmas gifts to me was two tickets to see one of my favorite bands, the Editors, in concert here in Milwaukee. That concert is coming up on Sunday, so Aaron and I are rolling it into our weekend-long "just us" extravaganza. Wa-hoo! Or, as Aaron would say, "Yay, music!"

Good Thing the Fourth: Grace seems to be really finding her place here in Milwaukee. We went through a rough patch, after moving down here, when she really seemed to miss her grandpa and grandma and auntie in Oshkosh, not to mention our old apartment and her old school. However, lately, she just seems so happy, and very comfortable with our new lives here. In fact, the other night, she told Aaron and me that she likes living in "the Milwaukee" and wants to stay here. Music to my ears.

Good Thing the Fifth: Plans for our reception in April are finally coming together. Last night we decided on a final menu for the dinner, and we are just about decided on a DJ. The only things left to do now are write the checks and drop some weight so we can both fit back into the clothes we wore for our wedding!

Good Thing the Sixth: Huh...as I was sitting here typing this, the company I interviewed with this morning called and offered me the recruiting job. Offer letter is being emailed to me as I type this. Looks like Aaron and I have some talking to do this weekend, too!

Hooray for things looking up!

Bumpwatch

This comes as a shock to me...I have recently been the subject of a bumpwatch...Britney, watch out.

This morning when I dropped Grace off at day care, one of the teachers pulled me aside gently and whispered to me while smiling broadly, "Are you pregnant?"

At this point, I pulled a Dr. John Dorian (Zach Braff in Scrubs), tilting my head, looking off into the distance, and participating in an internal monologue that went something like this:

Huh? Pregnant? What the hell? I know I gained a few pounds over the holidays, but geez, I didn't think I looked THAT big! Ugh, Aaron is wrong--I am a fat ass!!! Fat ass, fat ass, FAT ASS!!! I knew these pants looked too small on me, but I thought the jacket would have masked the belly. I can't believe she thinks I am pregnant!!! I thought I was looking a little thinner! I have been eating way less than before! Ugh! I am destined to a life of being overweight!

It's one thing to be asked if you're pregnant when you ACTUALLY ARE, but when you're not, it can be a bit of a blow. When I finally recovered, I smiled as sweetly as I could and said, "Nope, not pregnant." I hoped my smile and polite demeanor didn't reveal the anguish and horror I was feeling inside. I then intended to slink away as quietly as possible and therefore drop the subject forever. And then maybe go and cry in my car.

As I was leaving, the teacher stopped me and said, "The only reason I ask is because Grace keeps saying, 'My mama has a baby in her tummy.' The other teachers and I have been trying to look at you to see if you look pregnant, but I figured I would just ask you."

Ooooooohhhhhhhh. Sweet relief. But then again, huh?

I racked my brain to try and figure out where Grace could have possibly come up with the notion that I had a baby growing in my belly. It's not exactly a supper table conversation topic for us. The only time I think I have ever mentioned anything to Grace about having a baby in my tummy was when I explained to her where she came from (the basics, anyway).

Then it hit me...ELMO. On one of Grace's Elmo videos, titled "Elmo Visits the Doctor", there is a short blurb featuring a young kid who accompanies his pregnant mom to the doctor for one of her prenatal checks. Even though it has seriously been weeks since Grace has watched this video, I'm pretty sure that this is where she got the idea from. Grace has a knack for, without any sort of provocation, pulling an idea or a memory out of her head about something that could have happened weeks or months ago. She still remembers even the tiniest details about our trip to Disney, and that was back in October. The kid has a great memory.

I intend to ask Grace about this tonight to try and find out if my Elmo theory is correct or not. In the meantime, I'm gonna chuckle at the thought of Grace's day care teachers eying my belly and wondering, "Is she? Isn't she?"

Back to the Drawing Board

And the job woes continue...

BIG sigh...

Most of y'all know that I started at my medical interpreting job back in November after bouncing between jobs a bit over the past year and a half or so. I was totally stoked about this job...the pay was considerably higher than what I had been receiving at previous jobs, even though I only get paid for the hours I actually spend interpreting. I would be using my Spanish skills while helping those that really need it. I would be able to choose my hours, so I could work as much or as little as I liked (and I was assured that doing this full time was not only possible, but encouraged). I could take random days off (unpaid, of course) if Grace was sick or to go on vacation. It sounded like this was going to be a perfect job--pays well, flexible, rewarding and all that happy stuff. I could hardly believe it.

I should have learned a very important lesson by this point in my life. If something looks and sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Things started out well with this interpreting gig. I was indeed working full time (or darn close to it) and was earning more than I ever have in the past. I was given a large list of appointments each day that I could select from, and I picked the appointments that fit best into my day while generally packing as many into the 8am-5pm slot as I possibly could. And, naturally, I was really, truly enjoying my work. Helping people who need it and who are, for the most part, extremely grateful for the help is extremely gratifying to me. Things continued like this for a good month or so.

Then, out of the clear blue sky (and right before Christmas), I got a call from our payroll person at the office, asking me what my agreed-upon pay rate was. I gave her the info (while feeling a little concerned that she didn't have this written down somewhere) and she told me that the pay rate I was quoted by the manager was wrong. In fact, I was getting paid FIVE DOLLARS AN HOUR more than I was supposed to be, so they were going to have to knock my pay rate down to where it should have been all along.

Huh? Can you just DO that? I never signed an official contract or anything, so I suppose anything goes, right? Despite this snafu, I was still quite optimistic about the job. Theoretically, my earnings would still be higher than they have been in the past, as long as the workload kept up.

But the workload hasn't kept up. Since New Year's, things have slowed down drastically. In fact, there have been four days in the past two weeks in which I did not have one single appointment. For the life of me, I can't figure out why things have gotten so slow so suddenly. It's not like there has been a miracle drug introduced into the market that eliminates all illnesses in Spanish-speaking people. Health care isn't like other fields...there isn't a "slow period". People are always sick. So, what the hell?

It's gotten to the point now where my finances are stretched to the max. I need to keep Grace in day care full time because, lately, I don't know if I will have appointments or not on any given day. The office sometimes calls me the night before with the next day's appointments, and sometimes they call me the same day. The problem is, other than not allowing me to plan my days, if I don't end up working at all for a whole day, I just paid for a whole day of day care without making a cent. And day care ain't cheap...we pay $700 a month, and our center is on the lower end of the cost scale. And then there's gas, groceries, and other essentials to buy. And there's all of the other unexpected stuff that pops up when there is a young child in your life.

So, here I am again, weighing my job options. Interpreting jobs here in Milwaukee are actually less abundant than one would think, unless one wants to work second or third shift or on the weekends. I could probably be a stay-at-home mom, but then again I don't want to put all of the earning pressure on Aaron, especially since we just paid for a wedding in Florida and are planning a reception in April. And, Grace LOVES being in day care. I don't want to take that from her. I could go back into recruiting, but that seems like it would be a step backwards. All that I do know for sure is that things can't continue as they are. The financial strain is too great.

Of course, there are a couple of careers that I would really LOVE to pursue, but I would have to go back to school to be able to do any of them. That's not really an option right now, since Aaron and I want to have another baby in the near future and for us, that takes a higher priority than me continuing my education. And, yes, I know that plenty of women go to college while pregnant or with little ones, but I guess I don't want to have all of that stuff happening at once if I don't have to.

I might just have to settle, for the time being, with doing something I don't necessarily love but that is at least bringing money into the household. I probably shouldn't put that as a career objective on my resume.

Inside the Mind of a Three-Year-Old

This morning, as Grace and I were leaving the house to go to daycare, we took a moment to admire the beautiful pink and blue sunrise. Little did I know this was going to lead to a deep theological discussion:

Grace: Who makes the sunrise?

Me (wondering how I could explain the manner in which the rising sun reflects on the clouds): Ummm...

Grace: God makes the sky, Mama. He lives there.

Me: Oh, ok.

Grace: Mama, does God have wings? Like an angel?

Me: Uh, I'm not sure. I don't think anyone knows what God looks like.

Grace: He has wings. Otherwise he couldn't stay up in the sky.

Clearly, I have much to learn.

Then, this afternoon when I picked up Grace, I noticed that she was wearing a different pair of pants than the ones she was wearing when I dropped her off, so I suspected that she had had an accident during the day. Her teacher confirmed my suspicions, but this was no ordinary, couldn't-get-the-pants-down-fast-enough accident. Grace had pulled her pants down, lifted her shirt, and peed right in the middle of the floor. (Unfortunately, one of her classmate's jackets was within range and suffered because of it.) She has never done anything like this in the past, and has so few accidents in general that I was a little concerned and asked her about it this evening:

Me: Grace, how come you went potty on the floor at school?

Grace: Because.

Me: Because why?

Grace: Because you let me go potty at swimming lessons.

Argh. Last night in the middle of swimming class, Grace got an unmistakable "gotta pee RIGHT NOW" look on her face and that face was immediately replaced with one that said "oops, I just peed". I decided not to get too upset about it because

1.) the water temperature in the kids' pool is like 88 degrees, and that's enough to make even those with a bladder of steel have to pee

and

2.) there is so much freaking chlorine in the pool that my skin still reeks of it two days (and a couple of showers) after getting out of the pool, so I figured a little bit of Gracie pee added to the mix wasn't a huge deal.

So, it would appear that by not freaking out about this little accident at swim class, I (mistakenly) gave Grace the impression that it's ok to just drop trou and go wherever. Again, clearly I have much to learn.

So, for those of you keeping track, the score for today is...

Grace: 2
Mama: 0

P.S. To Future Grace...if you read this, I apologize for relating an undoubtedly embarrassing story about you and potty. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Update: Just to further illustrate how much freaking chlorine there is in the kiddy pool at our YMCA, I will relate this tale. I washed my swimsuit today, and as I was folding it, something looked odd to me. Turns out that the two purple stripes that run down the sides of the suit are no longer purple...they are kind of a taupe-ish color, with tiny little streaks of purple still clinging on up near the waist band. The chlorine in the pool stripped the purple out of my swimsuit!! Grace's pink "Hello Kitty" suit is looking a little less pink, as well. No wonder Grace and I both have horrible, itchy dry skin after swim class.

That is all.

Glasses!

She's darn cute, you gotta admit. (The picture doesn't do her justice...taken with my cell phone, so not the greatest quality.) And, other than saying, "The floor looks funny," so far Grace has no complaints about the glasses. Yippee!!

School Tours

It's open enrollment time for elementary schools here in Milwaukee! After making the decision that yes, we are going to enroll Grace in a K4 program rather than keep her in day care another year, we thought the prudent thing would be to go and check out some of the elementary schools in the area. We can chose up to three schools that we would like Grace to attend, and luckily, there are three schools that are within a mile or so of our house and I toured all three in the last couple of days. Here are my findings:

Tippecanoe School for the Arts and Humanities-

We toured this school last night as part of a district-wide open house that was taking place, and we were warmly greeted as we entered the school. Turns out that the woman who greeted us was the school's K4 teacher, and so our tour began with a look at the K4 classroom. I was immediately struck by how large it was and how the room was appealing to the senses without being overwhelming. There were separate "work" and "play" areas and the room had a sliding wall that opened into the K5 classroom, and Grace was immediately taken with the variety of toys and other fun stuff that was at her disposal. The teacher walked me through a typical day in the K4 room, which includes at least one "special" (art, music, phy ed) per day along with a mandated sixty minutes per day of Math instruction and ninety minutes per day of Language Arts/Reading instruction. At first I thought that seemed a bit excessive...I mean, they are four-year-olds, for Pete's sake, but then the teacher explained to me that a lot of this instruction is done through creative play, so the kids don't even really realize they are being taught. I asked if any Foreign Language instruction was integrated into the curriculum, and unfortunately it is not, although small snippets are taught. Also, kids in this K4 room don't get a nap time, which may or may not be an issue for Grace come September.

We toured the rest of the school and found out that this particular school goes up to eighth grade. Aaron and I were both very pleased with the look and feel of the school and we both liked the sound of the way that things are run. Obviously, the school focuses on an arts and humanities curriculum, so they are taught not only what people do and what they think, but also how they express themselves. Students are encouraged to begin playing a musical instrument in first grade. They participate in programs with the Milwaukee Art Museum. They can take piano lessons right at the school. They take field trips, once a week, to the Milwaukee Public Library. The biggest thing, curriculum-wise, that I liked is that they integrate their school-wide themes (they have three per year) into each curriculum so students can learn how things fit together, rather than having fragmented themes that don't mesh.

This is a smaller school, with an enrollment of approximately 250 kids from K4 to eighth grade. Class sizes are small--the K4 class has twenty kids this year and they expect the same next year. This is also classified as a Citywide Specialty School, which means that they accept kids from all over Milwaukee, but give enrollment preference to kids that live within a mile of the school (which would be us--we are less than a block from Tippecanoe).

At the end of our tour, we met the principal, who was very eager to answer any and all of our questions. She seemed warm and personable yet professional and knowledgeable. She reinforced a lot of the information that our tour guide provided us, and invited us to come back during a normal school day to see students and teachers. She directed us into the office to pick up an enrollment packet and after having some more questions answered by the friendly office staff, we left with a great impression of the school and of the staff members that we met.

Whittier Elementary School-

This description is going to be much shorter, for reasons that will quickly become obvious. We also toured this school last night as part of the district-wide open house and in all fairness I will say that I was so taken with Tippecanoe that already I had a bias against Whittier. So, I didn't go into the tour with the most open of minds.

That said, there really wasn't a tour at all. No one greeted us as we walked into a school. Really, the only thing directing us at all was a sign on a table asking us to sign the Visitor's Log, and from that point on, we were on our own. We managed to find the K4 room by listening to some of the other parents that were touring (none of the rooms were marked well) and I was relieved to see that the K4 teacher was actually in the room when we got there. She addressed a group of about six of us parents, telling us about a typical day in the K4 room but she went through it so quickly that I found myself having more questions at the end than I started with. I did manage to find out that the kids' days are split in half, with the morning focused on academics and the afternoon focusing on play time. A nap is included in each day, right after lunch time. Beyond that, the information was lacking. And, when I asked about Foreign Language, the teacher gave me a smirk and reminded me that there are bilingual schools within MPS that Grace could attend. I half apologized to her for the question, telling her that I am bilingual and that exposing my child to foreign languages is important to me, to which she replied, "You should teach her at home, then." AAAAAAALLLLL righty then.

After visiting the K4 room, we wandered around the rest of the school and made our way to the office, where I asked the secretary if they had any literature about the school that I could take home. She said no but that she could give me a student handbook instead. Not quite what I was looking for, but better than nothing I suppose. We left the school then, because there was nothing else for us to discover. There were no teachers roaming the halls to answer our questions, and certainly no administrator could be found, either.

We were not impressed at all with Whittier. I would think that if you knew you were going to have people coming through your workplace you would make an effort to put your best out there. That certainly was not the case with this school. It was enough to make me strongly consider keeping Grace in day care another year if we don't get our first (or second) school choice.

A.E. Burdick Elementary School-

Burdick was the last of the three schools that I toured, and I decided to tour it partly just because Burdick is our Neighborhood School, meaning that if we want Grace to go there, she goes there pretty much automatically. I toured the school today, so there was no open house going on and I had the advantage of observing a typical school day. I was pretty sure at this point that nothing would sway me from making Tippecanoe our first choice, but Burdick proved me wrong.

My tour was guided by the Tech Ed teacher, who has been at Burdick since 1989. He was very proud of the fact that most of the staff at Burdick has been there for five years or more, and this low turnover rate certainly sounded good to me. He began our tour by handing me a pile of literature about the school and made sure I had an enrollment form and knew how to fill it out. He then gave me a rundown of the school's history and explained how the school is structured. Like Tippecanoe, this is a K-8 school, so Grace could attend all the way through Middle School if we wanted.

Like Tippecanoe, Burdick has a very warm, inviting atmosphere. Each teacher I encountered greeted me warmly and introduced me to their class. (The lovely music teacher even exclaimed, "Look at the pretty, young Mommy!" Nice touch.) All of the classrooms are large and class sizes were reasonable (around twenty-five kids each). Enrollment is around 500 students. The curriculum overall is much more meat-and-potatoes than Tippecanoe...the focus is on the core subjects, but there is also a large emphasis on technology and music. I was surprised to see a row of computers in both of the K4 rooms, and by eighth grade, each student has his or her own computer. The school also places a high value on parental involvement, and I met several parent volunteers throughout the tour.

The one thing Burdick has that Tippecanoe doesn't is controlled access. No one can come into the building without being let in by the office and there are security cameras at each entrance into the school. The office staff monitors outside activity that is picked up on the cameras on TV's in the office. It's not a sketchy neighborhood by any stretch, but there is a certain peace of mind knowing that not just anyone is allowed into the school.

There are two K4 classrooms at Burdick, both structured the same way. K4 students get a 45-minute nap every afternoon at Burdick. Like Whittier's, Burdick's K4 classes focus on academics in the morning and then creative play in the afternoon, but there aren't any exceedingly high expectations in place. The K4 teacher I met with stressed to me that kids in her room are allowed to learn at their own pace and receive plenty of one-on-one instruction if need be. She explained that each child has his or her own learning style, and that she attempts to each to each of those different styles. She also told me that she focuses a lot on the social skills kids need to develop as they move into Kindergarten. Finally, she stressed that these kids are pretty little yet, so they receive all of the attention and nurturing that they need, while learning in a fun and creative way.

At the end of my tour, I met the principal, who at first glance was a little too coiffed and stiff for my liking, but was very nice nonetheless. He invited me to come back and bring Aaron and Grace anytime and told me to call him with any questions. He asked me lots of questions about Grace and told me he was looking forward to seeing her in the fall. Then the secretary made sure I knew how to fill out the enrollment form, gave me a handy checklist with the things I need to bring in to enroll Grace, and bid me adieu.

So, I'm torn between Tippecanoe and Burdick. They are both so different that it is hard to say that one is better than the other. If I had to choose right now, I could pick Tippecanoe over Burdick just because I really liked their arts and humanities emphasis, but honestly, I think I would be happy with Grace attending either school. I think I'll leave Whittier off my list altogether.

Far Sighted

Today, after a couple of months of noticing how Gracie seems to cross her eyes when looking at anything up close, like when she is eating or coloring, I took her in to see an ophthalmologist who immediately confirmed my suspicions...Grace is having trouble seeing things up close, and will need glasses to correct the problem and help her be able to read and see up close, and to ensure that she doesn't hurt her vision further by continuing to cross her eyes.

*sigh*

I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much. Every time I think of my three-year-old wearing glasses, tears come rushing to my eyes. Grace, for her part, found a very cute pair of pink glasses that she cannot WAIT to be able to wear once her lenses are delivered. She is calling them her "special glasses" and when she told her teacher at day care today that she was going to be getting glasses, she positively beamed with excitement. (It helped that her teacher energetically and very positively yelled, "Glasses?!? I have glasses!! This is so exciting!" I could have kissed her.)

Still, I can't help but sit here and cry, stupidly, thinking about it. Why am I so upset about this? I was thinking about it today as I watched a baby that was on a ventilator being wheeled into an elevator at the hospital where I work, and I thought to myself, "Get a freaking grip, Sara. It's glasses. Things could be so much worse."

I've been chatting online with Aaron about this and asked him that same question:

Sara says:
why am i so upset about this?
Aaron says:
because you feel like it is your fault
Aaron says:
that you let your child down somehow
Aaron says:
and you can't make it better for her

Ah yes...as usual, the man has more insight into my psyche than I do. It's great to be married to someone who understands.

I think part of it, too, is the fact that I was teased incessantly by peers when I got my classes in second grade. I don't want Grace to have to endure being called "four eyes" or a "dork", although there are much worse things to be called. And, at least she didn't inherit my red hair, so she won't have to be called "carrot top" for her entire childhood.

But, this isn't about me and I am angry at myself that I am upset. Grace is acting wonderfully about this...maybe it's time for me to model some of her behavior.

My Little Fish

Well, tonight was Grace's first night of swimming lessons, and she loves them so much that she wants to marry them. I enrolled her in a parent/child class since this is her first time, and I can already tell that she's only gonna need one session of classes with me before she is more than ready to try them on her own. She happily joined in as class started and the teacher began to sing, "Look Who's Come to Swim Class" (which is a name game in which each kid gets to scream out their name when the teacher points to them).

The first "real" thing the teacher wanted each child to do was to close their eyes and their mouth and bob under the water. Fearlessly, Grace glanced at me, closed her eyes and her mouth, and quickly disappeared under the water while I frantically reached for her to pull her up. As I was reaching for her, she resurfaced, spit out some water she had swallowed, and laughed her head off. She did this a few more times, and soon she was following the teacher around the pool, hanging on to her swimming noodle and kicking her legs out behind her. She learned to (kind of) use her arms to propel herself forward and at the end of class, she showed her bravery again by jumping off the side of the pool and into my arms, giggling the whole way.

All in all, I think swimming lessons are going to go, well, swimmingly. The only problems we had occurred when it was time to get out of the pool (some rather ruffled-looking elderly ladies were waiting for their water aerobics class) and Grace decided she didn't want to leave just yet. I coaxed her out by promising her that we would be coming back next week, to which Grace replied, "Ok, Mama, but I don't want to listen to the teacher. I wanna do my own thing." She's a rebel already.

Cheesy

A conversation, ten minutes ago on my couch:

Me (to Grace): Hey, can I have one of your Cheetos, please?

Grace: A big one or a little one?

Me: A big one please!

Grace: Ok, Mama, but be careful...they're really cheesy.

Me (to myself): Yep, that's the whole point kiddo.